In Shallow Waters
by JaggedHands
Summary: The sequel to The Murky Depths. Amanda is on the road to recovery and with Olivia's help things starts to look up but what happens when the past comes back to haunt the young detective? Is her life in danger and if so, will she push Olivia away, aftaid that her love might end up in the crossfire?
1. Chapter 1

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 1

 **I didn't think I would start the sequel to The Murky Depths so soon but the inspiration came flooding and I had to start writing it down. If you haven't read the prequel to this story you might want to but it's not a must if you know the show and characters pretty well. Enjoy.**

"Do we have to go to this stupid thing? I'd much rather be home with Frannie, eating crap food, watching tv in my bum clothes." Amanda groaned as she made her way out of the precinct with Fin and Carisi close behind.

"Yes, we do. Liv is already waiting for us in the conference hall at the hotel so we better hurry, don't want to make the boss angry." Carisi hurried along, adjusting his tie perfectly against his cream coloured shirt.

"I wouldn't worry about that." Fin added while looking at Amanda, smiling and batting his eyelashes. "Rollins will show Liv her cutest puppy dog eyes and we're all off the hook."

"Jerk." Amanda groaned, giving him a hard punch in the shoulder as Carisi hailed a cab.

A conference was being held and police forces and detectives from different parts of the country were attending, listening to new ideas, new approaches on delicate cases, new ways of gathering data and preserve DNA and encourage officers to attend educational workshops. To Amanda it all sounded boring and especially sitting still for so long would be a problem. The important topics of the whole conference would be published on their website anyway, so she didn't see the point in physically being there and suffer through a three hour long meeting with mostly boring men in suits with cheap aftershave.

Amanda sat in the backseat with Fin while Carisi was busy chatting in the front with the driver about random things, that usually popped into the young male detective's head. Looking out the window she smiled faintly as she thought of Olivia being there waiting for them, wating for her. The squad knew about their relationship and they were happy for both of them. At the precinct they kept it professional, no touching or kissing in public or in the bullpen but after a long day's work, after a tough case, Olivia would call the blonde into her office, close the door and blinds just to check to see if she was okay and it usually ended with a lot of making out, gentle touches and reassuring words. All they needed after a particularly rough day was each other.

"What's gotten you all smiley face?" Fin snickered, even though he already knew the answer to his own question.

"The thought of slapping Carisi across the face if he doesn't shut up about how to perfectly make a pancake. If I have to listen to his jabbering until we reach the hotel I will flatten him like a pancake myself." she snapped, rolling her eyes in the process. Fin simply chuckled and turned his attention out the window just as some light rain began to drizzle over the city.

Amanda felt her phone vibrate and saw a message from Liv. _'I've got four seats in the fifth row. See you soon. X'_

Quickly, she typed a reply. _'Only if I get to sit next to you ;)'_

 _'Always xxx'_ Olivia responded only a few seconds after Amanda's text.

The hotel was buzzing with people and activity. It was hard for Amanda to be around so many people all at once but she swallowed and plowed through the crowd, determined to make it to Olivia as fast as she could. "Amanda, Fin! Over here!" the tall brunette stood up waving at them to come over, frowning when she spotted one of her detectives missing. "Where's Carisi?"

Both Fin and Amanda threw a glance behind and rolled their eyes simultaneously. "Probably the bathroom. You know how small his bladder is." the blonde muttered as she sat down on the fold down chair closest to the isle.

"Don't I know it." Olivia laughed and took her seat next to the younger woman, taking her hand in hers, not really caring if anyone around them noticed it. "You okay?" she asked gently, studying Amanda's face with a slightly worried expression, knowing that her girlfriend didn't like big crowds.

The blonde offered her a weak smile and took a shaky breath, calming her nerves. "Yeah, I'm okay, just a lot of people."

Liv squeezed her hand and stroked the back of it with her thumb. "I know, honey, but you'll be fine and I'm right here." reassurance, was Olivia's thing. No matter how scared, sad, angry or alone a person could ever feel, the brunette was always quick to comfort and make the situation lighter and manageable in a way that Amanda, or anyone else for that matter, ever could. Her whole presence had a calming effect in general and the young blonde loved how safe and loved Olivia always made her feel after a nightmare, a bad day or even on a good day, for that matter. She was always there.

"Here comes Mr Tiny Bladder." Fin scoffed and made room for Carisi to pass just as the lights dimmed slightly and a voice rang out through the crowded aula, causing everybody's chitchatter to die out.

"Oh, man! That coffee went straight through me." Carisi mumbled but not as quietly as he intended as some of the men, in the row behind, snickered at his comment.

"Just sit your ass down, Carisi." Fin snarled and rolled his eyes.

Half way through the informative speeches Amanda yawned but perked right back up when there was an announcement for a short break. "Coffee!" Amanda stated, almost salivating at the word. "Anyone else for a cup?"

Fin shook his head but pointed his finger at Carisi. "He'll have an extra large."

The young Italian detective placed his hands on his stomach and let out an audible sigh. "I'm good. I swear, it was like an explosion in there, guys. I mean, a total..."

"Yeah, we get it, Carisi." Amanda quickly interrupted before any more details about their squad member's toilet visit could be revealed.

Liv decided to come with and left the two, now bickering, men in charge of their seats. Amanda got her coffee and almost gulped it down in just a few sips, desperate for the caffeine to kick in as soon as possible so she could pay, at least, a half assed attention to what was being said and done around her. "Hey, easy." Liv placed a hand on Amanda's wrist, gently lowering the paper cup. "The coffee is not going anywhere, sweetie."

Amanda made a face. "Yeah, I know. I'm just so tired I can barely keep my head upright." she took another gulp before Liv could stop her, draining the hot liquid and tossed it in a nearby trashcan.

The older woman tucked a stand of blonde hair away from her face and let her fingers linger for longer than she first had intended. "Didn't get much sleep last night, did you? Nightmares?" silently, Amanda nodded, keeping her eyes lowered to the ground. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you call me? I would've come over, you know I would." she insisted, taking a step closer to the tired looking blonde.

"I know." she whispered, ashamed for admitting to her nightmares. "I just... I... I didn't want to disturb you. You need your sleep, Liv. You're the boss."

Sighing, Liv took a firm hold of Amanda's hands. "Just because I'm the boss doesn't mean that you're less important, honey. You need your sleep too."

Amanda shrugged innocently. "I just thought that one sleep deprived detective would be better than two."

Liv chuckled and hastily kissed her cheek. "I want to be sleep deprived with you. That's what girlfriends do, they sympathize."

Frowning, the petite blonde shook her head slightly. "So, you're saying that you actually _want_ to _not sleep_ so you can be just as tired as I am because I'm your girlfriend and..." she made a sudden stop, thought for a second before breaking out in a huge smile. "Did you just call me your girlfriend?"

The brunette placed a hand over her mouth in a playful manner and gasped. "Did I? I did, didn't I? Well, you're a girl and you're my friend so, to me, that makes you my girlfriend and vice versa, I hope, but if you don't want to be then..." her words were cut short when she felt Amanda's soft lips on hers, tasting, exploring.

A few whistles and hands clapping could be heard from a nearby distance but neither woman cared about their little audience, too lost in each other to barely register anything else happening around them. When they finally broke away, due to lack of air, Amanda placed her forehead against Olivia's, slightly out of breath. "Don't you dare." she whispered and was relieved to see Olivia smiling back at her, unphased of what had just happened.

"I think we created our own little conference." the brunette stated, looking Amanda straight into her eyes, beaming down at her, her face full of happiness. "Come on, let's see if the boys have killed each other yet."

They made their way back to the big conference hall and chuckled as they spotted the two male detectives in, what seemed like, a heated discussion about something obviously very important to them. "I'm telling you one more time, Carisi, Star Wars and Star Trek are completely different. You can't even compare one to the other because they are two different things."

"Guys!" Liv interrupted as the two women sat down. "Do I need to separate you?" she asked, hearing Amanda's snicker coming from her left.

"Nah, we're good, right Fin?" the senior squad member raised his eyebrows and mumbled something incoherently in response. "Quiet, Fin! It's starting again."

Amanda could see Fin clench his fists, trying not to punch the other man in the face and she smiled at the thought of the two fighting like toddlers sometimes, both equally determined to get their way. It was amusing, most of the time. Other times she wished she was the one to punch them both in the face for being so childish and annoying but, even though they got on her nerves, she still wouldn't want to have it any other way.

The speeches went on and Amanda was quickly fading, the quick caffeine fix had clearly done nothing for her sleep deprived state. Her hand was back behing held by Olivia's and the warmth and softness from her skin made her even more sleepy and she wished that this would be over so she could go home and collapse into bed and snuggle up with Frannie, although she'd much rather snuggle up with Olivia.

She drifted off for one second but was brought back to reality by a deep male voice coming from the stage, a voice that she knew and recognized all too well and her whole body went rigid, pale and icy cold. She could see Olivia turning her head to look at her, clearly wondering what was going on since Amanda had squeezed her hand so hard it did cause the brunette some discomfort.

She spotted the young woman's pasty complexion, how her whole posture had changed and how her jaw was clenching and unclenching repeatedly. Beads of sweat had started to bloom on her upper lip and forehead and a tremor passed through her iron solid frame. Concerned, she leaned closer and whispered in her ear. "You okay?"

Amanda couldn't answer, couldn't move, couldn't think. The man on the stage had suddenly caught her full attention and her tiredness was instantly eliminated, as if it had never been there to begin with. She was on full alert, her senses suddenly magnified and the hair on her body stood up from the shivers that swept across her stiffened form, her breathing heavy and laboured.

She should've known he would be here. The smirk on his face made her feel sick and light headed, ready to pass out. She clung to Olivia's hand in a fierce grip, causing the older woman to winch slightly but she didn't pull away. "Amanda?" she could hear her name being called in a soft and concerned tone but she still couldn't make her body cooperate to turn and look at the worried expression on her boss's face. Fin and Carisi was oblivious to what was going on, their attention directed towards the stage where the middle aged man was standing, preaching about domestic violence and sexual abuse and how to handle delicate situations.

The way he spoke made Amanda's shivering increase and a sudden anger took hold of her. His hypocritical bullshit made her want to vomit and all she could think about was his groping hands, his raspy breathing and the weight of his body on top of hers, pinning her down, forcing her into different positions she never dreamed was possible to execute. Her blood went completely cold and her vision blurred for a minute before she finally snapped out of it and turned to Liv.

"I need to get out. Please, just get me out of here." she pleaded with tears suddenly running down her pale cheeks, desperate to escape the temporary hold that this man had on her.

Liv could easily see her girlfriend's unease and understood her need of getting out of there. She turned to the two the detectives and made up an excuse about herself not feeling well and that Amanda was gonna walk her home and they quickly made their departure as discretely as possible, not waiting for any kind of verbal response from the two men.

It took Amanda all her strenth and willpower to not let her legs give out underneath her and collapse on the floor in the hotel lobby and if Olivia hadn't been supporting her she probably would've done just that. Liv was desperate to know what the hell was going on but the distraught look on Amanda's face told her to wait with the questions until they were alone and somewhere where Amanda felt safe enough to talk.

"Where do you want to go? Yours or my place?" Olivia gently asked as they drove down the busy streets of Manhattan, the rain now pouring down outside, creating big puddles on the side of the road, the streetlights reflecting their shiny beams on their surface. At first glance, Olivia seemed calm and collected but on the inside there was a chaos raging and she could only imagine what Amanda must be feeling. She threw nervous glances towards the blonde who had still not spoken to her since they left the conference hall and she was turning deeply concerned.

"Amanda, honey? You want to go back to my place?" she tried again and placed a soothing hand on the younger woman's thigh, feeling how tense she was.

The blonde bobbed her head but then shifted in her seat and sighed. "Frannie!" was all she could make out as more tears began to appear.

"Okay, we can stop off and get Frannie, alright? You can wait in the car and I'll get her." she didn't think Amanda could even walk up the stairs of her own apartment building judging by the look on her face.

It was an in and out operation, quick and easy, to pick up the dog and head over to Liv's place. The short drive was silent except for Frannie's excited panting. The dog would never turn down an opportunity to go for a drive and it warmed Amanda's heart that something so small and familiar made her feel calmer and more at ease with herself.

When Olivia pulled in and parked the car, she swiftly made it to the other side to help Amanda out, supporting her by an arm wrapped securely around her waist. "Easy, honey, I've got you." she cooed into her ear and opened the backdoor so Frannie could jump out, knowing that the dog was trained not to take off on her own.

They slowly made their way to the front door with short and shaky steps, Frannie already waiting for them with her tail wagging ferociously. "Someone is excited." Liv gently stated, hoping to lighten the mood slightly and using Frannie as a distraction usually worked.

As Liv opened the heavy doors Amanda suddenly stopped, stared into space for a few seconds before turning towards Liv, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "It was Patton."


	2. Chapter 2

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 2

 **"It was Patton."**

Liv was extremely worried for her girlfriends health and found it almost impossible to leave her side even just for a minute or two. She hadn't said anything else since she uttered those three words only a few minutes ago and Olivia didn't know what to do in this very moment and she was beating herself up over it. She was usually good in situations like these, always knowing what to say to comfort victims but, it was extremely difficult when it came to someone in her own squad, someone she cared about, someone she loved. Plus, She didn't want to think of Amanda as a victim of rape and sexual assault, two words that should never be used together but was unfortunately frequently used in both their daily lifes.

Frannie had plunked herself down on the floor next to the couch where the two women were seated, Amanda wrapped in a blanket and Olivia only a few inches away, observing her with cautious worry and alarm. "The man on stage was Patton? Your former boss back in Atlanta?"

Amanda shakily nodded, not able to form a coherent sentence yet, her trembling body pressing itself closer to Olivia's warmth and the brunette roped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "You're safe, baby." she mumbled into golden tresses. "I'm so sorry you had to see him again. What do you want to do? How do you want things to go from here? Do you want me to talk to Barba and see if..."

"No!" the blonde was quick to interrupt, not wanting to even think about what Olivia was about to suggest. "There's nothing he can do and you know it. I... it's been too long, there's no evidence, I never reported it and I never went to the hospital to get checked out. There's nothing to go on. Nothing! I... I don't... I just don't want to talk about this now, I... I can't... I can't talk about it... now, please, I..."

"Okay, okay! Shh, we won't talk about it. I'm just worried about you, that's all." she kissed Amanda softly on the lips, relieved when she felt the blonde reciprocate the tender action.

The smaller woman relax slightly into the embrace and let out a shaky breath that she didn't even realize she was holding. "He'll be gone by tomorow, back in Atlanta. Life goes on, right?"

Olivia knew that the young detective was right. It would be her word against his, 'he said, she said' and they didn't have anything solid to go on, no evidence, no outcry witness, no rape kit, no medical records, nothing. It pained her to think about what Amanda had gone through and what she was going through now and she wished she could take it all away for her, to eliminate the hurt and add some peace into her soul.

"If that's what you want to do then I support your choice. Just know that I'm here for you, no matter what happens, and that I respect your decision." they sat in silence for a while until Frannie let out a squeak as she yawned. "I think your hairy baby is trying to tell us to go to bed. What do you think?"

Amanda smiled, reached down and gave her dog a scratch behind her ear. "I think you're right." she stated and yawned herself. "Can we cuddle in bed?" she asked sweetly, needing to feel some kind of physical reassurance after everything that had happened within the last hour.

Liv raised her eyebrows in a questioning manner, a faint grin playing across her lips. "Are you asking me or Frannie?"

"You feeling better today, boss?" Fin asked Liv as she walked into the precinct the next morning, a bit later than usual with Amanda not far behind. "You didn't miss anything important anyway. Besides, it was almost over by the time you two left."

"Good to know, thanks Fin. Anything new come in?" she asked as she made her way to her office with a take away coffee in hand.

Fin stood from his chair. "Actually yes. We just got a call about a rape, young woman, around early thirties."

"Where?" Liv asked, sighing sadly at the endless evil that seemed to be happening in every corner of the world.

"The hotel we were at for the conference. She said it happened last night." when nor Liv or Amanda said anything, Fin glanced at Carisi then back to his boss. "We'll take it." he offered and proceeded to put his coat on but Liv raised her hand.

"I'll go with you, Rollins and Carisi you stay here, we'll keep you posted." she took a swig of her brew and walked back the same way she had entered when Amanda placed a hand on her arm, stopping her.

"Please, let me go with you." she whispered, not wanting the small audience to hear. "I... I have a feeling. Just, please, let me come with." her blue eyes shining from anger and frustration.

Olivia shook her head, knowing what feeling Amanda was talking about but neither of them could be sure. "No, you stay here." she kept her voice low. "I know you want to go but, if the feeling you have is confirmed, it's too personal and I don't want you involved, understood?" she had to be firm, to be the boss and it was important that Amanda knew that, right now. "Come on, Fin."

They drove to the hospital. The rain from the night before had gathered big puddles everywhere, making it hard for cars and pedestrians to maneuver around them to avoid getting drenched or drenching someone walking by. Olivia had a gnawing feeling in her gut, probably the same one as her girlfriend had, she figured. She hoped, for Amanda's sake, that this had nothing to do with what had happened yesterday at the conference but her gut instinct told her otherwise.

Amanda didn't deserve this, especially now, after seeing her old boss after so many years, bringing up bad memories and pain that she so badly wanted to forget. The blonde had been doing so good the past few months and Olivia didn't want to see her going down the rabbit hole again, not after all the hard work she had put in to make herself feel better, stronger and worthy. She didn't think Amanda would be able to handle it very well and she just wanted to protect her from unnecessary and additional pain.

The victim, Sharon Wilde, was blonde, blue eyes and petite built and had a strong resemblance to Amanda, which caused a sharp pain deep within Olivia's chest, thinking that this is probably what Amanda must've looked like after her assault. The rape kit showed vaginal and anal tearing, bruising on her hips and the inside of her thighs as well as her face and neck. The outcry witness, a cleaner who worked at the hotel, had found her naked on the bed, bleeding and unconscious before she came to and cried rape and her assailant had checked out by then.

Sharon cried as she went through the course of events, winching in pain as she shifted positions in the bed, trying to get comfortable. "I know this is hard but did you see his face?" Liv asked as Fin stood next to her with a solemn expression, his jaw clenching in anger as she finished all the horrific details of her attack.

"Of course, I let him inside my room." Liv and Fin threw each other a glance of confusion but Sharon continued. "We... we met downstairs in the hotel bar, we had a couple of drinks and then... then... it got late and I have... or had, an early meeting this morning. He offered to walk me back to my room and... and that's... that's when he... when he attacked me." her voice broke but she regained her composure only a few seconds later, her face turning into an expression of confusion, hurt and anger.

"I... I mean, he tried to kiss me first, I pulled away and told him it wasn't a good idea but he said, and his exact words were, 'I don't take no for an answer', then he pushed me inside and... and... and raped me." she began to cry yet again, shaking her head, brows furrowed, not understanding why this had to happen. "I tried to get away but... he was just too strong. I... I... I said No!"

Olivia took a step closer to the bed and sat down on the edge, still keeping her distance, not wanting to frighten the woman any further. "You did everything just right. You survived, Sharon, and that's all that matters. Can you describe him for me? The colour of his eyes, his hair, his body type, anything?" she gently pressed, her voice still calm and steady, waiting patiently for the blonde to answer.

"I... I can do better than that. I have a... a picture with him on my phone." she began to look frantically around the bed for her purse, hissing in pain at the sudden movements. "Where's my purse? I... I need my purse!"

"Okay, easy!" Olivia intervened and looked at Fin for assistance. "It's probably in your room at the hotel. I'm gonna have my detective Tutuola here, go and check for you, okay? Is it okay if we look through your phone back at the station and we'll bring it back to you as soon as we're done? It would really help us alot." when Sharon nodded her approval, Liv looked at Fin, giving him the all clear to go while she stayed for another few minutes.

When she arrived back at the precinct, Amanda was eager and nervous to find out what Liv had found out and she greeted the brunette with a fresh cup of coffee. "Is this a bribe of some sort?" she raised her eyebrows and smirked but accepted the steaming black liquid.

"I... I just want to know how you got on, that's all." lowering her head defeatedly, Liv put a hand on her upper arm to stop her from going anywhere.

"No honey, it's okay, I'm sorry. She said she took a picture of her assailant, Fin has gone back to the hotel to collect her phone so we can go through it. He should be back any minute."

"Did she say anything else?" Amanda wanted to know, the feeling of not knowing was killing her.

"Amanda, I'm..."

"You beat me to it, Liv." Fin announced as he breathlessly entered the bullpen with Sharon's phone in his hand. "I got the phone and I looked at the pictures from last night." he held the device up so the two women could see the screen clearly. "It's the guy from the conference. He's a cop, Liv."

Amanda stared at the screen, feeling how everything around her began to spin and her heart rate increased to an alarming speed. "It's Patton." she whispered but her voice loud enough for her coworkers to hear, even Carisi who sat at his desk a few feet away.

"That's Patton?" the african american man asked with wide eyes and a shocked expression.

"Who's Patton?" the young Italian man wanted to know, his eyes flickering between the three detectives standing a couple of yards away, totally confused to what was going on.

Olivia ignored the two questions, it wasn't her place to tell Carisi anyway and she was more worried about Amanda than to fill Carisi in on Atlanta's braising boys club and everything that he had put the blonde through. Fin knew in general what had played out in the southern state but Amanda never disclosed any details to him about the attacks she had suffered in the hands of Charles Patton. Instead, she guided the young woman into her office, away from prying eyes and closed the door to give her, or both of them, some privacy.

"You okay?" Olivia carefully looked at the blonde woman's face, trying to read her emotions by observing her facial expressions but Amanda didn't seem to show any. Her face was like an empty canvas or a blank piece of paper with absolutely nothing on it and it scared her slightly. "Amanda, you okay?" she tried again and placed a gentle hand on one of her shoulders and the blonde finally returned to the present.

"Um... yeah! Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just... um, I... I'm just..." closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply and gathered herself before asking. "Where's he now?"

Now it was Olivia's turn to breath deeply, not looking forward to give her girlfriend the answer but, of course, she had no choice in the matter. "Apparently, he checked out early this morning but I'm gonna put out an alert to all the airports, buss and train stations in the city to see if we can locate him. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine." Amanda calmly answered, not showing any signs of panic, fear or dread. "I've got paperwork to do." she excused herself and left, leaving a now doubtful and worried Lieutenant behind.

"Nothing. No man by the name of Charles Patton checked in anywhere, in any station, in the city." Carisi hung up the stationary phone, sighing in defeat and crossed his arms over his chest.

"He must still be in New York." Fin concluded, looking at Olivia who ran her fingers through her thick mane in a frustrating manner.

"Okay, Carisi, organize a security detail on Sharon while she's in the hospital and, Fin, you let the Atlanta PD know that their Deputy Chief is being accused of rape and track his cell. He's not gonna get away with this." she snorted, feeling the anger starting to boil inside of her like a volcano ready to erupt.

Amanda sat by her desk, her mind completely blank with an expression to match. If Patton was still in the city he could easily track her down, get her address and phone number and god knows what else. Her body trembled at the thought as shills ran down her spine, feeling her stomach turn in an uneasy and knotted way. She thought that this was all over since she left Atlanta but apparently her worst nightmare had come back to haunt her, stirring up her new life she had started in New York. Why was this happening now?

Feeling a nearby presenc, she looked up and saw Olivia seated standing next to her desk, head tilted to the side like she does with all the victims, making Amanda feel uncomfortable and slighty angry. "Don't look at me like that." she whispered harshly, not wanting anyone to hear.

Olivia opened her mouth to say something but closed it again and sighed, changing her choice of words. "Just let me know if you need anything." Amanda nodded faintly and watched the tall brunette disappear into her office.

Was she safe? Would he come after her now? Would she need a security detail herself? A squad car parked outside her apartment building, following her every move until he was arrested? If he was arrested? Was Olivia safe? What if he hurt Olivia just to get to her? Was this some sort of threatening tactic process just to humiliate, scare and torture the blonde? Was this payback for leaving Atlanta all those years ago?

She needed to get some air, needed to get out of this place for awhile before she suffocated on the heavy compressed atmosphere inside the squad room, restricting her breathing. She stood abruptly, grabbed her coat and headed out into the buzzing city, letting her lungs fill with crisp air as she walked around aimlessly while her mind was running rampant with thoughts of Patton, Sharon, herself and Olivia.

Over an hour passed before she could feel her phone vibrate in her pocket. It was Liv. "Amanda, honey, where did you go? I need you back at the station, I... I'm not comfortable with you being out there with Patton still in the city. Please, just come back. I'm worried."

Her voice was pleading, almost desperate, and Amanda felt sorry for worrying her and making her upset but she didn't feel like going back just yet. She needed to clear her head that was still in a chaos due to her mixed up thoughts and emotions, she needed more time. "I'm... I'm fine, Liv. Just... just give me another hour."

Reluctantly, Olivia agreed but if more than sixty minutes passed and Amanda wasn't back, she would turn the city up side down to find her. Amanda rolled her eyes at Liv's dramatics but, she figured that if the situation was reversed, she would be worried to and couldn't really blame Olivia for it.

She felt numb. Her body, her senses, her mind, they were all numb. She wasn't afraid. Besides, it was broad daylight and streets full of people, if Patton wanted to hurt her he would be incredibly stupid to do so in public, in the middle of the day, but she still couldn't help but turning her head at almost every man that passed her out, wondering if it was Patton or not. However, it was only her own mind playing tricks and thought that the likelihood of meeting Patton, unless he was following her, was slim to none.

A sudden urge to feel something other than numbness kicked in and the desire to cut became almost overwhelming. She could imagine the smooth surface of the razor in her hand as if she was actually holding it, pressing the blades down onto her pale skin, making a fast and slik movement and slice through her flesh, watching how the blood would slowly seep out. She began to walk faster, as if by doing so the overpowering need would somehow go away or at least ease. It didn't and without realizing where she had ended up, she was now looking up at her apartment building, so close to razor sharp bliss and she could no longer ignore the strong urge.


	3. Chapter 3

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 3

Amanda was on edge for the rest of the day. Every noise, every sound and every touch made her jump, thinking it was Patton who had finally found her. The cuts on her inner thigh were stinging as her black tight jeans rubbed against her skin as she moved and, on a couple of occasions, she had even hissed in pain, causing confusing stares from Fin and Carisi.

Olivia had shown a visible relief when the blonde, as promised, stepped inside the precinct an hour after their phone call. There was still no news on Patton's whereabouts but they were working non stop to try and locate him. Liv had even gotten other precincts involved since her squad was understaffed and, since she didn't want Amanda working on the case, they were already one man down.

By nightfall there was still no news on Patton and, as the squad members were exhausted from their sixteen hour shift, Olivia was not going to take any chances and insisted that Amanda stayed with her for a while or vice versa. Even though they were staying at each others apartments now and then, they still slept apart for the most part, both wanting to take things slow. At this time, however, Olivia was not comfortable with Amanda going home all by herself, even though she had Frannie there to protect her if anything were to happen. There is only so much a dog can do and Liv wanted to stay close by but Amanda was not listening.

"I can take care of myself, Liv. I'm not gonna let him scare me out of my own home. I have Frannie and I'll keep my phone close by in case anything happens. I... I just need some time to... think and... and be by myself for awhile."

"That's what worries me, honey." Liv stepped closer to the blonde, taking her hand and squeezed it gently. "Just don't think too much and try to get some sleep. My phone will be with me the whole time, call me if you need to, okay? Even if you just want to talk."

Olivia had insisted on walking Amanda home and they were now standing outside, the air damp and crisp, saying good night. "Can I at least get a good night kiss?" Liv smiled sheepishly and tugged the blonde closer and waited for Amanda's lips to make contact and, when they did, she melted. The cool air around them created a stark contrast as their heated lips made their bodies feel all warm and tingly.

When they parted, Liv grinned down at her girlfriend who had a goofy smile plastered on her face. "What are you thinking about to cause such a goofy smirk?"

Amanda's smile grew wider and rested her forehead against Olivia's collarbone. "You." she simply stated and inhaled the comforting smell of sweet fruits of Liv's coat and hair.

Chuckling, the brunette stroked the blonde tresses softly, kissing the top of her head. "I don't know if I should take that as an insult or a compliment."

"A compliment." came the muffled reply before blue eyes looked straight into brown. "Definitely a compliment."

They kissed again and said good night and Liv stayed and watched as the petite form disappeared through the entrance and didn't leave until she saw the light in Amanda's bedroom window being switched on. It didn't feel right to leave when the life of her girlfriend could possibly be in danger but she had to respect her wishes no matter how hard it was to not go against them and place a patrol car outside the building, or even sleep in her car herself to make sure she was safe.

As she walked home she couldn't shake the feeling that something awful was about to happen. Was she doing the right thing? She only wanted what was best for Amanda but was this it? Was she better off on her own right now then having someone there for her, to make sure she was okay and protected? No! She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around, making her way back. What was she thinking? Leaving her girlfriend alone while that horrible man was still out there! She would never forgive herself if anything happened.

She ran up the stairs and knocked on Amanda's door, waiting for her to open. When nothing happened she tried again but slightly louder. Still nothing. She did have a spare key that she had not yet used and fished it out of her purse, inserted it and unlocked the door. Frannie instantly came running towards her, tail wagging and tongue hanging out to the side, bouncing up and down as she breathed with excitement. "Hi Frannie girl, how are you doing? Where's your mama?"

She scratched the dog behind her ear and placed a kiss right between her eyes, giggling as the wet tongue slid across her cheek. "Hey, mind my make up! I have to look pretty for your mommy." she stood and listened for awhile, wondering why the blonde hadn't heard her come in but then realized the shower was on and the noise of the water must've dimmed out her knocking.

She entered Amanda's bedroom, sitting down on her bed, intending to wait until she was finished but the thought of surprising Amanda in the shower was more appealing and she got undresed and quietly slipped inside the steamy hot bathroom. She could easily make out Amanda's silhouette through the foggy glass and let her eyes travel down the length of her body, admiring every curve and every muscle. She was so beautiful, she thought and tip toed to the sliding door and, as quietly as possible and pulled it to the side.

As soon as Amanda heard the door to the shower open she immediately spun around, eyes wide, hands up, trying to shield her face and upper body, she screamed in fear, cowering into the corner and sobbed. "Please, don't!"

Liv stepped back and watched in horror as her girlfriend crumbled in front of her. She held her hand up to indicate that she ment no harm and that she wasn't going to hurt her. "Shhh, it's just me, sweetie. It's Olivia, I'm not going to hurt you." she soothed, keeping her voice low and non threatening.

The blonde realized that it was Olivia standing in front of her and not Patton, or anybody else for that matter, but she still couldn't stop her body shaking from fear. "L... Liv!? Wh... what...?"

"Shh, baby, easy. You're okay." stepping fully into the shower she then saw the fresh cuts on her inner thigh. They looked raw, sore and extremely painful. Her heart sank as she took in the sight of the small naked woman breaking before her. "Oh, Amanda! Baby, what did you do?" she said with feeling, tears gathering in her eyes as she stepped closer and touched a quivering shoulder, relieved when she didn't pull back.

"When did this happen, sweetheart?" she brushed wet hair away from a teary and petrified face, stroking her cheek lightly as she brought her hand back down to let it rest on her small waist, waiting patiently for an answer.

"Earlier today... when I disappeared for a while." she hung her head in shame. "I... I know it was wrong and that I shouldn't have done it but... I... I couldn't stop it, I... I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm so..."

"No, sweetheart. You have nothing to be sorry for." she engulfed the crying woman in her arms, pressing their naked bodies together, feeling Amanda shiver against her. "My sweet girl, I'm so sorry I scared you. I started walking home but then I changed my mind and decided that, no matter how much you wanted to be left alone, it didn't feel right. Im sorry, baby, I shouldn't have surprised you like I did." she held Amanda close, one hand rubbing up and down her spine while the other held her head in place in the crook of her neck, feeling Amanda's ragged breaths ghost her skin as she cried.

"Shh, it's okay, my love." she whispered and kissed the top of her head over and over, willing as much love and warmth into the shivering form as she possibly could. They stood there in silence, their bodies molded together as the warm water hit their skin, wetting everything in it's path and when Amanda's trembling had eased slightly Liv pulled away, looking into scared blue teary orbs. "Can I wash your hair for you?"

Amanda didn't answer but turned around, giving Liv the all clear to wash the horrors of the day away and sighed in pure bliss when she felt firm, but yet gentle, hands massage her scalp, neck and shoulders. She was grateful that Liv had decided to turn back even though she had told her that she needed to be left alone. The thoughtfulness and the tender care that the older woman gave so willingly to her made her chest ache with such a strong feeling of devotion and admiration and she almost found it hard to breathe. She wanted to inhale this woman, wanted to be so close to her that nothing or no one could ever tear them apart. She was consumed with love. Yes, love.

"You okay, sweetheart? You sound a bit worked up." Liv whispered, placed her chin on her shoulder and kissed the delicate skin on her neck.

Amanda turned, blinking at the water that streamed down her forehead, eyes and face, clouding her vision slightly but she could still make out Olivia's caring brown gazing down at her and that's when she realized that she was in love. "I love you." she whispered, never breaking the eye contact and she waited anxiously for Liv's response and when she never got one she began to panic. Had she gone too far? Was it too much too fast? Why couldn't she just keep her big mouth shut?

Olivia's heart stopped for a second as Amanda's words reached her ears. She had waited to hear those three word, waited for her to say it first because she didn't want to scare the younger woman away by confessing her own feelings towards her, but now, when it was said and done and all out in the open, she couldn't be happier.

She also saw the fear and panic in Amanda's face as soon she had said it out loud and it pained her to see how hard it was for the blonde to admit her true feelings, so obviously afraid of rejection and shame. When Amanda slowly began to pull away, with a hurt expression covering her features, Liv pulled her back, pressed her lips against Amanda's and kissed her with a passion she had never shown anyone before. Opening her mouth she granted Amanda access, their tongues met and moved in a heated dance as their heartbeats picked up, hammering wildly in their chest.

"I love you too, Amanda. I love you so so much." Liv finally whispered back and immediately felt the body in her arms relax against her and an audible sigh of relief escaped the blonde's throat. "Come on, sweetie. Let's get dry and then we can snuggle in bed. I just want to hold you, to make sure you're okay and that you're safe."

Amanda had no objections what so ever and they both snagged a towel each, dried off and got in under the covers, Liv wearing a pajama set, she had left there for situations like these, and Amanda a pair of boxers and a tank top, not caring about the cuts on her leg since Liv had seen them anyway. Holding the smaller woman close, Liv breathed in her scent and felt the blonde hair tickle her nose every time she inhaled. The silence was one of comfort and peace but Olivia couldn't shake the thought of Amanda cutting herself again and felt the need to bring it up, to ask her why and what was going through her head at the time.

"Next time you feel like you want to hurt yourself, come to me, please! Or call me if I'm not around. There are better ways to deal with things, sweetheart, and if you want, or feel that you need to talk to someone, then I can arrange that. You just let me know, okay?"

The blonde closed her eyes briefly and swallowed at the big lump that was formig in her throat. "I... I'll try." she whispered, her voice strained and hoarse. "It's... it's just that it's how I've dealt with things my whole life and it... it... it's like a... a comfort. Something I know and something I trust. It's something that helps to diminish everything else."

Olivia understood. She understood the concept of it all but the strong and sudden urges Amanda experienced was something she didn't understand. She just couldn't imagine how hurting yourself would make anything better but she also knew that self harm was an addiction in it's own way and that it was hard to control and overpower.

"All I'm asking is that you try, sweetie. It's all I can ask of you and, I'm not going to lie, but it will take some time to work this through, to help you change your way of thinking and acting. I just don't want you to hurt yourself anymore, sweetheart. You're too important, you deserve to not be hurting all the time."

"I'm... I'm not hurting all the time, Liv. I mean, the past few months that I've spent with you, getting closer to you, have been amazing and I don't think I could've done it without your support. I guess the whole... Patton thing stirred things up and... and I slipped. I'm sorry." a fresh wave of tears formed and rolled down her cheeks and a feeling of weakness and shame spread over her like a blanket. "I'm so sorry."

"I know you are, honey, I know. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that you feel like you have to hurt yourself to make you feel better, or to feel anything for that matter, but it's not a solution. Just let me in, talk to me next time. I'll keep you distracted, we can go for a walk, you can rant about whatever you want to rant about, you can scream, you can cry, you can do whatever you need to do and I'll be there for you but, please, don't hurt yourself." she begged, wiping at her own tears and then gently stroked Amanda's face with cool fingers, causing the blonde to sigh from the welcomed contact.

"I'm... I'm scared." she finally admitted. "I'm scared of Patton, I'm afraid of what he might do to me if he found me or what he might do to you. I don't want you to get hurt, Liv. You don't know him like I do, he's like a pit bull, he doesn't let go." she cried, clinging to Olivia like a small child after a bad dream.

"Hey, baby! Don't worry about me. He's not gonna get to me or you, I'll protect you, protect us. He's not gonna come near you ever again. We've got the whole squad in our corner." she hushed gently as she continued to caress Amanda's flushed face, wiping the tears away as they fell. "I'll make sure we're both safe." as she whispered gently to the small woman she could see that it had an affect and that she was slowly calming down and drifting off into a light slumber. Frannie was positioned at the foot of the bed, snoring lightly, creating a repetitive comfortable and soothing pattern until they both travelled into the land of dreams.

The next day Amanda was on edge. Half the day had passed and there was still no news on Patton's whereabouts and it was taking a toll on everybody but especially amanda. Liv didn't let her out of her sight and stayed close by in case she needed anything.

"Where's Carisi?" Liv wondered as she passed her detective's desks and saw one empty.

"He's on his third bathroom visit within the space of an hour." Fin smirked. "Too much coffee again. He never learn from his mistakes that one. We should put a padlock on the coffee maker and not give him a key or make him wear diapers."

Amanda snickered nervously. She appreciated the light banter between Fin and Carisi snd especially now when things were difficult and the atmosphere slightly stained in the bullpen. The jokes made everything seem somewhat normal and familiar, not just for Amanda but for everyone. Liv smiled and shook her head. "I think you might be right, Fin, although I don't think the diaper solution would go down very well."

"What's all this talk about diapers? Did I miss something?" Carisi appeared, looking slightly pale, adjusting his tie into perfect position and taking his seat, not having a clue what his coworkers were talking about.

"Nothing." they all answered in unison, throwing each other glances. Carisi just uttered a 'hum' in disbelief but decided to let it go for now.

Amanda was working on a couple of old cases since she had been told to take a step back from the Patton case and she was going through old files, statements and evidence, hoping to clear some things up but it proved to be more difficult than she thought it would. The file she was reading didn't make any sense, as if all the papers were mixed up and not in order, or maybe even pages missing from the file.

Sighing she stood up and made her way into the archive room, where they kept all the open cases, and began to look through all the files with the letter T, for Thomson. Maybe some papers had just been misplaced into another file or fallen out but she huffed in frustration when nothing showed and she slammed the drawer shut. "Whoa, what did the drawer ever do to you?" Fin chuckled from behind. When he saw Amanda flinch he raised his hands. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. You looking for something?"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Amanda calmed herself and nodded. "Yeah, there seems to be pages missing from a file but I can't seem to find them anywhere." she began to rummage around the drawer again, hoping she might have just missed it the first time.

"Did you check the basement?" he asked, shrugging his shouders. "If the case is more than five years old they're usually being stored underground archives."

"Oh yeah, right... I forgot. Thanks, Fin." she began to leave when the older man stopped her, but with his voice this time to avoid another flinch.

"You want me to come with you?" he offered, his face sincere and worried.

Usually that question would bug Amanda, as if she couldn't look after herself or not capable of doing so. This time, however, it warmed her heart and she flashed him a slight smile in gratitude. "Thanks Fin, but I'll be okay. You can make me a decent cup of coffee though." she batted her eyelashes and headed towards the basement.


	4. Chapter 4

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 4

The pain in her head was pounding like a sledgehammer and with every heartbeat she could feel it intensify ten times more. She was cold, cold and shivering. Her neck hurt, so did the left side of her face and she could feel something warm and sticky slowly dripping down her chin. Her first instinct was to bring her hand up to wipe it off but she couldn't move, her hands couldn't move. Something was holding them tightly in place and that's when she could feel the roughness of a rope around her wrists and the more she pulled and struggled against it, the more it hurt and the tighter it became.

She tried to open her eyes but her left one wouldn't somehow cooperate, or was it open? Why couldn't she see? Was she blind? What the hell was going on? Why did she hurt so much? Her head was heavy and it felt like an impossible task to hold it up straight without support and she wondered how the hell she had ended up in such a bad situation. The cold hard floor dug into her back and shoulders, leaving marks no doubt, and her legs felt numb and strange, like they didn't somehow belong to the rest of her body. What was going on?

"Oh, I see you're coming around. Take it easy darlin'."

That voice. She knew that voice, that strong southern drawl and it made her blood turn icy cold and that sharp pang of terror hit her in the guts, like someone had actually physically punched her in the stomach. Patton.

"You're just as pretty as the last time I saw you, Amanda. Did you miss me?" he smiled, snickering more like, as he leaned closer to her face, chuckling slightly as he watched her struggle to move. "You've suffered quite the blow to your head, darlin', might want to take it easy."

"Wh... what d... do you... want?" she stuttered, her whole body shaking from fear and pain. She tried to study her surroundings but her vision was blurry and impaired due to her pounding head and her left eye that didn't seem to function.

Laughing, Patton paced back and forth in front of her and that's when she realized that she wasn't in the underground archives anymore. She was somewhere else, somewhere totally different, somewhere she had never been before. "Straight to the point, as usual. I always liked that about you, darlin', always so put together and all work and no play."

"Where... are we?" she didn't recognize any of her surroundings and had no idea where she was and how she had ended up there. All she knew was that Patton's face would probably be the last thing she'd see before she died. "H... how did you... without anyone seeing... I don't..."

"Oh, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda." he approached her, bent down and grabbed her by the arms, pulling her into an upright position, her back leaning against a stone wall. "I'm a cop, I know how things work and I also happen to have an acquaintance, here in New York who was happy to lend me his storage unit. Do you like it? I know it's not ideal but, you know, it has it's charm."

As Patton kept talking, Amanda took the chance to let her eyes wander around the cold room, her vision now slightly better as she had gotten use to the dim lighting and the excruciating pain in her head. She doesn't remember being hit or drugged, her mind was all a blank and, no matter how hard she tried, she still couldn't figure out how Patton had managed to get her out of the archives without anyone witnessing it.

"How did you... get me out?" her voice was hoarse and a dry violent cough ripped through her throat, causing her to winch in discomfort.

"Oh, darlin', I've got my ways. I found an old rug, rolled you up in it and carried you out into my rental and here we are. You're still a lightweight, Amanda. I always liked my women petite, blonde and blue eyes. You were always my special girl, darlin'."

"Just like Sharon Wilde?" she spat, swallowing repeatedly, desperate to sooth her aching throat.

Patton snorted, an amused grin appearing on his face. "Was that her name? I can't remember. Almost as feisty as you when I fucked her but not as sweet as you. Your body is like a piece of art, Amanda, silky smooth and skin pale as a virgin's breasts just waiting to be touched. A work of perfection."

"They're gonna find you, you know! If you're stupid enough to kidnap an NYPD detective and leave a trail you're not gonna last long, I tell you." she was scared. Scared of what Patton might do to her, scared of not being found on time, or at all, scared that Liv might also be in danger and scared of dying. She didn't want to die, she wasn't ready, it wasn't her time.

"A trail?" he huffed, "there's no trail, Amanda. There are no surveillance cameras in the underground archives. No one knows you're here." an evil grin spread across his lips as he crouched down in front of her, caressing the side of her face. "It's just you and me, darlin'."

Olivia was nauseous with fear and dread. Amanda had now been missing for an hour and the whole precinct was a buzzing chaos of people running around like headless chickens doing their best to try and track and locate the whereabouts of the missing blonde. The fact that there were no cameras in the basement made everything more difficult as they had nothing to go on. The thought of what Patton might do to her girlfriend caused such an intense emotion of despair and helplessness and she could barely think straight.

"Liv, we got something." Fin came running into her office, his hand holding an ipad with a picture on it. It was Patton. "He got a rental under a false name, a black Sedan, I've got the licence plate number out on high alert already, Carisi is heading down there now to find out as much as he can, if Patton told him where he was going or when the car is due back. This picture was taken by their security camera a couple of hours ago. He can't have made it very far, sarge. We'll find her."

Swallowing her tears, Liv nodded, her face pale and drawn, fear shining through her watery eyes. "Thanks Fin. Do we even know how he got in?" she asked, frowning at the thought of how a stranger could've just marched into the precinct, made his way down to the basement, kidnap an NYPD detective and gotten her out of there without anyone seeing it. To Olivia it just seemed unbelievably strange.

Fin shrugged and sighed in a resigned manner, thinking the exact same thing as his boss. "He must've used his authority somehow. He's smart but we're smarter. We'll find her, Liv."

"What are you gonna do to me?" she asked groggily, her head still aching but fatigue was now kicking in and Amanda knew that that wasn't good and that she was probably suffering from a concussion. She just had to stay awake.

"Why? Have you forgotten our last time, or should I say times?" stroking her cheek with his index finger, he smiled and closed his eyes briefly, remembering the last time they had seen each other. "You were so... how should I put it?... resistant. You did put up quite a fight," he giggled "but I always liked that in you, Amanda, made it all worth it in the end but, don't worry, I'll be gental this time since you do seem to be in quite a bit if pain from that blow to the head. I do apologize for that but, since I know how feisty you are, you didn't leave me with much of a choice, darlin'."

His breath swept across her face and she had to swallow hard to keep herself from not throwing up. His smile sickened her to the core and if she had a gun in her hand she wouldn't hesitate for one second to pull the trigger. Her mind and thoughts went to Olivia and how she wished that her girlfriend and colleagues would burst through the door, guns blazing, shoot the son of a bitch and then take Amanda in her arms, promising her that she was safe and that everything was going to be okay. That was all wishful thinking and she knew it. Had they even noticed that she was gone? Of course they would! She had told Fin she would be back in five minutes for that cup of coffee. They must've realized by now that she was missing. Right?

"Just get it over and done with." she snarled, too tired and drowsy to find the energy to fight back any physical confrontations. "There's a lot of talk and no action."

She shouldn't have said that as a powerful fist hit her jaw and she felt her whole body jolt to the side and how the searing pain went up into her left ear and eye. "Shut your stupid fucking mouth, you cunt! I'm the one in charge, I set the pace, I tell you where and when so don't even try to tell me what to do because you have no authority here. I do!" he yelled into her face, spitting as the words flew from his lips.

Amanda shivered against the anger and hatred in his voice. Just like the previous times, the yelling, the hollering and the threatening tone made him feel even more powerful, invincible almost, and Amanda knew what was coming.

"Anything on the car?" Liv asked anxiously for the third time in less than ten minutes. She was beside herself with worry of what Patton might do to her. She knew he was a sexual predator but somehow she wished, hoped, that that wasn't the case this time but a part of her couldn't stop playing the horrible images in her head of Amanda tied up, being beaten, sodomized and raped. If she got the chance she would shoot the son of a bitch herself.

Fin shook his head, staring like a mad man at his computer screen and phone for any coming updates that could help them locate their squad member. "Nothing yet, sarge, but it hasn't been that long. Give it some time."

"We don't have time!" Olivia shouted, causing everyone in the bullpen to stop whatever it was they were doing and looked at the distraught brunette. She regretted it the second the words had left her lips but it was too late to take it back. Running her hands through her hair she muttered a 'sorry' and retreated into her office. Her body shook as she sat down on her leather chair, tears once again brimming in her deep brown eyes but she wouldn't let them fall. She needed to keep it together for Amanda's sake, otherwise she would be useless in finding her.

She felt bad for sitting on her ass and doing nothing. She should be out there looking for her but it would be like finding a needle in a haystack, or more like finding a piece of hay in a haystack, impossible. They had nothing to go on yet and it would a waste of time roaming the city in hopes to come across her. They could do nothing else but wait and it was killing everybody.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Fin and Carisi, who had just come back from the car rental company, stormed inside. "We got a lead on the car. It's parked by the Hudson river down by the marina. We're checking it out now, sarge." Carisi was flushed, obviously exhausted from rushing back to the precinct and she could see a glimmer of hope in Fin's eyes, giving her some extra reassurance too.

"What are we waiting for then, let's go." with the sirens blaring, they sped off to the location where the car had been spotted and they got there within ten minutes. Liv jumped out before the car even had a chance to come to a full stop and she ran up to the deserted vehicle, her two detectives close behind. "Fin, check the trunk, Carisi you take the front, I'll take the back."

They searched for any clues, any evidence that would indicate if Amanda had been inside or not. The trunk came up empty and so did the front but Liv did find a couple of blonde hairs in the backseat and when she pulled herself out of the car she spotted a small dark red stain on the cream coloured leather and she froze. Was that Amanda's blood? Was she okay? Was she hurt, injured? Even dead? No! She pushed that thought aside, not mentally able to linger on that thought for too long.

"I've got blood." she yelled, "call CSU down here now. Tell them to bag everything and put a rush on all the tests. We need the results asap. Call for backup, if the car is here then maybe they're not far away, canvas the area." It had only been about two hours since she had gone missing but it felt like two days, even two weeks, for Olivia. The waiting and not knowing was the hardest part and she felt like she was going out of her mind.

She must've dozed off for awhile but gasped for air as she felt ice cold water being poured onto her face, causing her to shiver. "Wake up, darlin', you're missing out."

As she opened her eyes, she realized that she could now see through the left one but everything was still very blurry. She was so cold she could almost hear her bones rattling as she trembled violently. She was naked. The fear and panic kicked in and she couldn't hold her tears at bay any longer so she cried heavily, causing her throat to clog up and she gagged on her own saliva.

"Oh, darlin', we haven't even started yet." he chuckled, slowly running a finger down between her breasts and back up again. "I'm gonna take my time with you, Amanda. I just want to watch your incredible body for awhile, watch as the muscles ripple under your skin as you cry and struggle against the restraints. It turns me on, baby." he squeezed one of her breasts, kneading it hard as she whimpered in pain and disgust. "Oh, I love when you cry for me, Amanda. It just makes me want to fuck you even more."

He moved closer to her face and kissed her roughly on the lips but got annoyed when Amanda didn't kiss him back. "Kiss me, you filthy whore or I will show you some other tricks I've got up my sleeve."

Afraid of what he might do if she didn't comply she kissed him back, fighting hard against the bile that kept rising up her throat, threatening to come up any second. She would do anything to stay alive, anything to see Olivia again, anything to feel those gentle arms around her like a blanket of warmth and love. She had to fight and stay alive, if not for her, then for Olivia.

"Touch yourself, Amanda. I want to see you touching yourself while you're looking at me." he was beginning to sweat and tremble as his arousal grew stronger. He didn't want to miss one second of this moment, the moment he had waited so long for, dreamed about and fantasized about for the past few years. This was his dream come true. He cut the restraints, knowing that she wouldn't get very far if she decided to bolt and she was in no condition to take him down.

Amanda didn't move, couldn't move. How was she ever suppose to live with herself after this? Touch herself in front of Patton? The shame, embarrassment and mortification was too much to even think about. There was no way she was touching herself to please him. No fucking way!

"I said, touch yourself. Now!" he snarled, his face only a couple of inches away from hers and the smell of him caused her to throw up, making her head pound even more, if that was even possible. When she still didn't move Patton grabbed her by the arms and shook her violently, slapping her across the face several times but the blonde didn't even flinch. She knew that fighting him would turn him on so she stayed limp, like a ragdoll, in his arms, hoping he would eventually stop. He didn't.

"Do as I say, or I will make this as painful as I possibly can." the slaps turned to punches but Amanda tried not to show any emotion and kept a blank apathetic expression on her face as the fists came raining down on her. "You fucking slut! I'll show you what pain feels like."

The beating suddenly came to a halt and she spotted him unzipping his pants, the bulge between his legs already visible. That's when she somehow felt a rush of adrenaline burst through her veins and, with all the energy she had left in her, she screamed at the top of her lungs. "HELP!"


	5. Chapter 5

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 5

As the detectives combed the area around where the car had been dumped, Olivia and Fin had ventured a bit further away, towards what seemed to be an empty building, perhaps a deserted warehouse or some kind of storage units. As they approached the old brick building, Fin stopped dead in his tracks and placed a hand on Olivia's lower arm. "Blood." he said and pointed towards the ground where, indeed, a few drops of crimson coloured stains could easily be seen. Liv immediately radioed Carisi and told him to bring backup and that they were heading inside.

Guns ready in hand, Fin and Liv snuk quietly into the building, securing the first area, their senses on full alert, their breathing fast and shallow, hearts pumping and beads of sweat blooming on their foreheads. It was difficult to navigate in the dim light but the sun did shine through the gaps where windows had, without a doubt, previously been situated. There was rubbish dumped on the ground, empty beer bottles and cans, an old shoe with no laces and syringes, clearly a popular place for junkies to hang out but, what distubed Olivia the most was the strong and overpowering smell of urine. It stung her nostrils and she tried not to breath through her nose and, judging by Fin's facial expression, he had the same idea.

Then they suddenly stopped as they heard a piercing scream coming from upstairs and the terrified sound made their blood solidify and the hair on their body to stand up. Liv knew that scream and who it belonged to. Amanda!

They two detectives looked at each other and, as their eyes met, they knew what the other was thinking. As fast as their legs could carry them they ran towards the stairs, taking two steps at a time, guns ready in hand and climbed the steep staircase, preparing for the worst. As they reached the top they searched the area but it came up clear and, as they slowly headed further away from the stairs, securing every nook and cranny, they heard the scream again. It was louder this time which meant that they were closer to Amanda and Patton.

The agonizing scream came from further down the corridor, that they were now standing in, and Liv waisted no time and barged around the bend by the end of the narrow passage, Fin hot on her heels and, gun ready to fire, Olivia rounded the corner, entered a large open space area and what she saw made her heart stop. A few yards away stood Patton, his pants around his ankles, an evil grin plastered on his sweaty face, his underwear were still on but Liv could tell he was just about to lose them too if they hadn't barged in when they did.

In front of him, on the cold hard concrete floor, naked, bloody and shivering, was Amanda. Instantly she could see that her left eye was almost swollen shut, her lips and nose was bleeding and so was a cut on her left eyebrow. They were the visible injuries and she prayed that she had no internal damage from the beating she bad sustained at the hands of this psychotic man.

"NYPD, step away, Patton!" Liv shouted, gun pointed straight at him as she took a couple of steps closer. "I said, step away, NOW!" she shouted again as the older man didn't seem to comply.

Patton turned towards the two detectives and then back to Amanda. "If I can't have her, no one will." he said with determination etched in his voice and, as if from out of nowhere, a gun was suddenly in his hand and nobody knew where it had come from but that didn't matter. Liv felt everything happening in slow motion and as Patton's gun aimed at the semi conscious blonde, she didn't think twice about what needed to be done.

A loud bang rang out, the thick stone walls provided no echo so the noise from the gun had nowhere to travel except for their ears and it appeared louder than anyone could've expected. Patton immediately fell to the ground next to Amanda, blood pumping from his chest, wheezing and gasping for breath for a few seconds before he finally went completely still and silent. He was dead.

As the brunette made her way to the naked form, Fin was already in the process of covering up his body, so Amanda wouldn't have to look at the monster who had assaulted her years ago, then called for a bus before the backup crowd finally arrived with Carisi first in line. His eyes teared up as soon as he saw his colleague's lifeless body on the ground and he stumbled slightly as he stepped closer. "Is... is she... is she...?"

Everyone was too busy to hear his spoken question but he was relieved when he heard a faint and painfilled moan coming from Amanda and Liv, who had already taken her coat off and covered her with it, cupped her face between her hands, holding her gently as soft thumbs stroked pale and blood stained cheeks. "Amanda, sweetheart! Can you hear me? It's Olivia, honey, and you're okay, everything is gonna be okay. I'm here, I'm right here with you, baby. Help is on the way, just hold on for another few minutes."

She was afraid to move her in case she would cause more damage but she never let go of the physical contact, trying to keep Amanda grounded and hopefully help her with some of the pain and fear she was undoubtedly experiencing.

Olivia didn't leave her side until the ambulance arrived and, even then, she was reluctant to but she had to let the paramedics do their job. When she was safely inside the bus, the blonde began to stir, moaning in pain, tossing her head from side to side and tried to get into an upright position but Liv gently pushed her back down, one hand on her bare chest and the other on a clammy forehead, restricting Amanda in the most gentle manner that she could. "Shh, baby, you have to lie still so you don't hurt yourself. It's okay now, sweetheart, you're safe."

"L... Liv?" she moaned, cracking one eye open but her vision was blurry and unfocused.

"Shhh, I'm here, I'm right here. You're gonna be okay, my love. Everything is okay." she let her eyes wander over the blonde's body, trying to see how much damage Patton had done but there was no breaks, no lacerations or any other physical indication of severe wounds that Liv could see. Her coat had been replaced by a white sheet and a blanket but, since the blonde was tossing and turning, the covers had fallen to the side slightly and her legs and upper thighs were visible.

Had she been raped? The thought kept churning in her head and wouldn't go away. She had to know. "Amanda, honey? Did he rape you?" she whispered in her ear, stroking her face and hair tenderly while patiently waiting for an answer.

"He... he was... he was just ab... about to but he... he didn't get the... ch... chance." she stuttered between painful sobs and tear filled eyes, shattering Olivia's heart.

"Okay, baby, that's good, that's good. Just try to relax, we're almost at the hospital." she cooed, breathing a sigh of relief as Amanda told her that she hadn't been sexually assaulted. When the ambulance came to a stop and the doors at the back opened, Amanda whimpered in fear of Liv leaving her side but the older woman reassured her that she would be close by the whole time and that she wasn't alone and that she was safe. Olivia wasn't allowed to pass through the double doors into the emergency unit but that didn't stop her from trying. She also felt this powerful need to stay by Amanda's side until the whole procedure was over, to sooth her fear, pain and despair.

Before they took Amanda into an exam room, Liv grabbed one of the nurses and pulled her into a secluded area. "She said she wasn't raped but if, by any chance, you're sedating her will you do a pelvic exam just in case?"

"Of course." the nurse agreed. "Why don't you wait in the waiting area and I'll come and get you as soon as we're done. She's in good hands here. My name is Jackie by the way and you are?"

"Sergeant Olivia Benson, Manhattan SVU." they shook hands and Liv fought against the tears that welled up in her eyes. "Sorry, I'm just a bit... emotional I guess."

Jackie nodded in understanding, offering a comforting smile to the brunette. "It's okay. She's just not a victim to you, is she?"

"No, she's um,... she's my partner." Liv informed, wiping her cheeks swiftly and that's when she noticed the dried blood on her hands and fingers and, just the thought that the blood came from Amanda, made her dizzy. "Um, I... I need to clean up. I'll be in the waiting room but, please, she has been through a lot so just... be gentle."

The waiting game was always the worst. Not knowing the extent of Amanda's injuries, if she was goint to be okay or if she had been raped and was just too afraid or ashamed to admit it. She watched as other people in the waiting area tried to do their best to cope and to deal with their situations and ordeals. Some were, pacing back and forth, some just sitting down, staring at the floor with a blank expression on their faces, a small group of men and women were praying in a corner and some were crying silently while waiting for any news on their loved ones. It was a horrible place to be and Olivia couldn't wait to get Amanda and herself out of there.

About an hour past when Jackie strode into the waiting room and spotted Olivia straight away. "Sergeant Benson!"

Liv shot up from the chair as soon as she heard her name being called and she almost tripped over the leg of her seat as she quickly approached the nurse. "Is she okay? What's wrong?"

Jackie stepped closer and spoke quietly so no one else would hear. "Um, we did scans and checked her vitals, everything seemes to be within the normal range, nothing is broke, which is a miracle, but she does have severe bruising on her torso and face and a concussion so we will have to keep her over night for observation. She wasn't raped, so you were right about that, but we are finding it extremely difficult to get close enough to treat her facial injuries. She's not letting us touch her face, she pulls away, cries and she almost gets violent." she sighed but continued. "I know it's not protocol and against standard procedures but I think she'll respond better if you were there with her."

"Absolutely." there wasn't even the slightest hesitation coming from Liv and she was actually relieved that Jackie had decided to ask her for help instead of them trying to calm Amanda down by themselves, scaring her even further. As they entered the double doors, Liv could instantly hear Amanda's desperate cried coming from further down the corridor and she picked up speed and ran all the way until she came to a full stop outside a smallish room with three people inside, each trying to calm the hysterical blonde so they could do their jobs but Amanda was fighting hard not to be touched, poked or prodded.

"Amanda?" she spoke softly, her voice filling up the room and drowning every other noise around them. The blonde instantly reacted and went completely still and opened her eyes, that she had kept closed so tightly she had started to see colours.

"L... Liv?" she whimpered, a soft sob escaping her raw throat. "Liv?"

"I'm here, baby." she stepped fully into the room so Amanda could see that she was actually there and that it wasn't a dream or some kind of hallucination. Liv turned to the nurses and doctors behind her and spoke in a low voice. "Could you give us a few minutes in private, please. I'll call you back in when she's ready."

Reluctantly, they left the room, Jackie smiling gently, giving Liv a slight nod and left the two women alone. The brunette approached the bed in the corner where Amanda was positioned on, back pressed so tightly against the wall due to her desperate attempts to try and escape the doctor's touches and stares. Large tears were streaming down her flushed cheeks, the previously fresh blood had now dried and had started to crust on her lip, nose and brow and her whole body was shivering, wearing only a thin hospital gown.

"L... Li... Liv?" she cried again, sounding like a lost girl who lost her mommy in the supermarket. "I... I want to... to go home." then, she broke into heartbreaking sobs, causing her head to throb and pound furiously.

"Oh, sweetheart!" Liv opened her arms and approached the bed, needing to hold the woman she loved in her arms, and she spotted Amanda trying to shift closer to her, her own arms outstretched, waiting to be engulfed in the safe embrace. "No, no, honey. Let me come to you it's alright, my love. Im here, I've got you. Shhh,"

Amanda clung to the older woman's shirt, trying to pull herself closer to Olivia's body, even though it was physically impossible, and no matter how hard she tried to stop crying, she still couldn't control her tears and sobs from breaking free, making her body to almost convulse by the force of her cries. "Shhh, my sweet sweet girl. You're okay, you're safe, you're safe. I'm right here with you and I'm not leaving your side, I promise."

She slowly rocked the crying blonde from side to side, sushing her, soothing her and comforting her the best she could. A few minutes later she could feel Amanda relax slightly under her touch and her loud cries had turned into soft sobs and sniffles. "That's it, that's my girl." Liv hushed gently into her ear and smoothed back blonde hair from her face. "Easy, sweetheart, you're gonna be okay. You're safe, he's gone and he will never hurt you or anyone else ever again. He's gone, my sweet. He's gone."

"He... he's dead?" blue eyes looked up and searched Olivia's face for an answer. "He's dead?" she repeated in disbelief.

Olivia smiled sadly, stroked her cheek and kissed her forehead gently. "Yeah, honey, he's dead. I... I shot him. He'll never hurt you again. You're safe and you're alive, that's all that matters. Come here, sweetheart," she cooed, pulling the blonde close again, "come here, just let me hold you for a while."

Amanda cried herself into an almost sedated state and, while the nurses tended to her cuts and bruises, Liv continued to hold her but from behind so they could reach her wounds easier. As they stitched up the cut above her eyebrow she whimpered slightly and buried herself deeper into the warm body behind her, wishing this could be all over. "Shh, you're doing great, sweetheart, just a few more minutes and you're done." Liv encouraged and kissed her temple softly.

"Ca... can I g... go home? Please, Liv, take me... home." Amanda begged, looking up at the brunette with pleading and teary eyes that tore at her heart.

Olivia wanted nothing more than to bring Amanda home to hers but with a concussion she knew that it would be for the best if she stayed over night for observation. It was hard to say no but Amanda's health came first and she wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that. "Honey, you suffered head trauma, you have a concussion, you have to stay here for the night, sweetie. I can't take you home until your doctor clears you. I'm sorry, baby."

Another round of tears welled up in the already bloodshot blue eyes and Amanda, once again, clung to the older woman. "Please, I... I don't... I don't want to be alone. I... I can't... I... I..."

"Shhh, I know, I know, baby. I'm gonna stay right here with you the whole time, I promise. I'm not gonna leave your side, okay?" she glanced at Jackie who only stood a few feet away, writing down something in, what Liv suspected to be Amanda's chart, silently asking for permission to stay over night herself.

The nurse smiled comfortingly. "I'll see if I can get another bed into Miss Rollins room. There shouldn't be a problem and, if it is, they'll have to deal with me."

Liv breathed a sigh of relief and, again, kissed Amanda's now clean forehead, feeling the softness of her skin against her lips. "You hear that, sweetie? I'm gonna be right by your side the whole night, you don't have to worry about anything."

After giving Amanda some well needed pain relief for her pounding head, Liv helped her to get into bed and under the covers, tucking her in lovingly and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I have a feeling I won't be needing that extra bed." she smirked and gently stroke Amanda's flushed cheek with her knuckles. "Do you mind some company?"

Fighting to keep her eyes open, Amanda managed a smile and scooted over more to the side, making room for Olivia to lie down. "You know I don't." she whispered and snuggled as close she could to her girlfriend and boss, absorbing all the warmth, love and safety she possibly could before drifting off into a deep and restful sleep, Olivia not far behind.


	6. Chapter 6

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 6

"How's Amanda doing? Is she in need of a decent home cooked meal?" Carisi asked as he walked into the precinct two weeks after the abduction and attack on their young colleague. The place wasn't the same without her and they were all keen on knowing how she was getting on physically and emotionally.

Liv stirred her coffee and leaned up against Fin's desk, grateful to have such considerate and loyal subordinates and friends, they were all a family and were constantly looking out for each other, having one another's backs in difficult and trying times. Fin shook his head at his current partner's question, crunching up his face in confusion. "What is it with you and food? Is it an Italian thing or just you?"

Carisi didn't seem to understand what the problem was and sat down by his desk totally serious and bewildered by Fin's comment. "What? Good food is the foundation to a healthy and balanced lifestyle. My grandmother taught me that."

Fin snorted. "Yeah? Did she also tell you that too much coffee isn't good for you... or your stomach?"

The younger man shrugged uncomfortably, avoided eye contact and began to roll a pencil between his fingers, fidgeting. "She... may... have... at some point. Look, us Italians like out food, especially my family."

"Yeah, well food isn't the answer to all your problems." Fin grunted, turned in his chair and looked up at his boss. "How is she doing, sarge?"

Liv sipped her coffee and let out a soft sigh, thinking about the blonde woman waiting for her back at her apartmen and her heart swelled at the thought. "She's... she's doing okay. She's dealing with it, going to a councillor and Frannie helps her a lot. The dog has barely left her side."

"You almost sound a bit jealous, Liv. Is Frannie getting more kisses than you?" Fin smirked and poked his finger playfully into his boss's ribs. Liv just shot him a glare but he knew she they were both amused by the joke and that she didn't take offence to it. "Look, things are quiet here. You've been at the precinct more hours than you've been with your girl. Go home, we'll let you now if we need you. Besides, Lieutenant Declan Murphy is on his way as you requested since we're a man down. We can handle things here for a couple of days, right Carisi?"

The young man pursed his lips and nodded. "Absolutely, sarge. Just let her know that we're thinking of her and that if she wants me to..."

"Cook her a home made meal, you will see to it. Thanks Carisi, we all got that." the senior detective interrupted, rolling his eyes.

"Are you two sure I can leave you on your own? You won't tear the place apart, shoot each other or steal each other's toys? Will you be good boys while I'm gone?" raising her eyebrows she let her gaze wander from one detective to the other, looking for some reassurance that they wouldn't blow the whole building up into smithereens.

"We can handle it, sarge." Carisi said in a confident tone, performed a drum roll with his fingers on his desk and accidentally hit a pen, causing it to fly through the air and hit him in the face, right bellow his left eye. "Ouch!" winching like a small child, he brought his hand up to where the pen had hit him and touched the area gently.

Olivia threw Fin a quick glance, took another sip or her steaming brew, shook her head in a hopeless manner and left the two male detectives to their own devices, hoping that the one six precinct would still be there in a couple of days time.

Entering her apartment she instantly became aware of how quiet it was inside. Frannie was lying on the couch, her ears perked up as Liv walked through the door and she jumped down to greet the tall brunette. "Hi girl! How are you? Where's your mama?" she cooed and scratched the dog under her chin and then kissed the top of her head. "Amanda?"

She walked through the kitchen and the spare room, that was also set up as an office, but found it empty. Thinking that she must be inside the bedroom resting, she gently knocked before opening the door and spoke softly. "Amanda honey?" it was empty. On top of the bed the covers and the sheet were all tangled up into a messy pile, one pillow was carelessly tossed onto the floor and Amanda's pajamas had also been discarded on the dark hardwood.

She stopped and listened for the sound of water but the bathroom seemed to just as quiet as the rest of the apartment. "Amanda, sweetie?" the door was closed and Olivia didn't want to invade the blonde's privacy by suddenly bursting in but the worry for Amanda's wellbeing was more important right now. Slowly she opened it, peered inside and saw the smaller woman sitting on the closed toilet seat in just her panties and tank top, her head hanging heavily, her body rigid and breathing deep and uneven.

"Honey?" she called out again but Amanda remained in the same position, not registering Olivia's presence at all. As the tall brunette fully entered the room she froze as her gaze immediately drawn to the razor clutched firmly in Amanda's hand, shaking from the strain and effort of trying not to act on her strong and powerful need to mutilate her body.

"Hey, honey! What's going on?" dropping her purse onto the cold tiles bellow, she carefully approached the absent minded woman, visibly taking in Amanda's appearance and trying to make out if she was physically fine and free from any fresh cuts and let out a sigh of relief when all she could see was old scars and marks on her toned porcelain thighs. "Listen to me, baby." she dropped to her knees in front of the half naked blonde and, ever so slowly, she placed her own warm larger hand over Amanda's tightly closed one and gently preyed her fingers open, one by one.

"Let go, honey, it's okay." while speaking softly and reassuringly she eventually managed to get Amanda to release the sharp object and Olivia placed it in the cupboard under the sink, away from clear view.

That's when the blonde finally returned to the present, blinking several times to adapt to her surroundings and where she actually was. When she came to, she gasped for breath and began to stutter almost hysterical. "I... I'm sorry... I... I didn't... I didn't do... anything... I... I swear... I... I'm sorry... I'm so..."

Olivia pulled her in close the her chest, feeling the rapid heartbeats coming from the younger woman and it almost frightened her how fast it's pace was. "Shhh, I know, baby, I know and I'm so glad that you didn't do anything. I'm so proud of you, sweetheart, that must've been very difficult for you."

Amanda began to whimper and sob as she felt the strong arms hold her so tenderly. She felt as though she was a lost cause, a waste of space and a complete burden to everyone, especially Olivia. She felt weak, broken, useless, disgusting and ashamed. Ashamed for being so brittle and fragile all the time, disgusting for what Patton had done to her and what she had done to herself, useless due to her injuries, that were still healing, it was straining to complete the simplest of everyday tasks, broken because Patton had gotten to her and weak because her confidence, her self worth and self respect felt like it had gone down the toilet and her emotional state of mind was nowhere near where it would usually be. She wasn't living, just existing.

"I'm such a fuckup!" she almost yelled, pulled away from Olivia and smalled her fists against her temples in frustration and anger. "Why can't I just be normal? Why can't these thoughts just vanish from my brain? I don't want them there anymore? Please, just make them go away!"

Liv was quick to interfere and stop her from hurting herself, her eyes stinging from unshed tears and her chest began to tighten and close up from seeing Amanda so upset and distraught. She grabbed the clenched fists, held them firmly and brought them to her chest. "Stop it, sweetheart, you're gonna hurt yourself. What thoughts are you talking about, honey? The self destructive thoughts about cutting yourself?" when Amanda nodded Liv leaned forward to rest her forehead against the blonde's and she spoke softly but with a strong determination in her voice.

"I want you to listen to me, sweetheart. There is no such thing as normal. We all have our demons and we all deal differently when it comes to trauma. I know you don't want these thoughts in your head and all you want is for them to go away and I wish there was a way I could make that happen." Amanda's body shook from the effort of holding her sobs at bay while listening to Olivia. All she wanted was to curl into a foetal position, pull the covers over herself and just sleep for a very very long time.

Liv continued her reassuring words as she gently wiped the tears from Amanda's cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. "I promise you that we will fight and deal with this together. Have you talked to your therapist about your thoughts and urges?"

Amanda sniffled and began to fidget with Olivia's wrist watch, too ashamed to establish eye contact. "We... we talked about it but... but... we didn't go into details or... or triggers or anything because I didnt want to, I... I was too scared. I'm so stupid!" again she pulled away from Liv's gentle hold and buried her face in her hands. "I'm such a coward!"

"No!" the brunette pulled her close again, her need to sooth and comfort her girlfriend was so overwhelmingly strong and she found herself willing to do anything to make her pain and suffering go away. "You do not get to do that to yourself, sweetheart, do not put yourself down for something you find hard to control. It's an addiction, honey, and it's gonna take time for you to understand why you feel the need to harm yourself, find your triggers and learn how to avoid certain situations and how to work through you thoughts and feelings. Things are not going to get better overnight, it's a process that takes time, commitment and determination." she stroked the blonde head that was tucked safely underneath her chin and felt the small body in her arms tremble.

"Would you like me to come with you to a session or two to talk about it? Would it be easier for you if I was there next to you?" it was a suggestion that Liv had been thinking about for a while but reluctant to ask, in fear of stepping too far into Amanda's comfort zone.

She saw Amanda thinking hard about it, her brow furrowed and her forehead puckered. Finally she nodded. "Would you?"

Smiling, Liv enveloped her in a big warm hug, rubbing her hands up and down her back, feeling the coolness of Amanda's skin. "Of course I will, my sweet girl. I'll call your therapist and ask if it's okay. Now," she pulled Amanda even closer to her body, "I want you to wrap your legs around my waist and we'll get you into some warm clothes, alright."

She carried the petite woman into the bedroom and helped her into a pair of yoga pants, a long sleeved shirt and some wolly socks, hoping that it would warm her up and make her feel better. "Why are you home so early?" Amanda questioned as they sat on the couch, sipping a cup of tea with the tv running but neither woman paid much attention to what was actually airing.

"It was pretty quiet and Fin actually ordered me to go home and spend some time with my beautiful, sexy and breathtakingly stunning woman. Who am I to argue with that?"

Raising her eyebrows, Amanda chuckled. "I'm sure he didn't use those exact words."

"Well... I'm sure he was thinking about those words because it's true, even a blind person could see that." Liv batted her eyelashes and smiled broadly, showing of a perfect set of teeth.

"Smooth talker!" Amanda muttered, amused at her girlfriends playful tactics, leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. The kiss instantly grew more passionate and, before Amanda knew what was happening, she found herself straddling Olivia's lap, her breaths heavy and her hips rocking, begging for more.

"You sure about this, sweetie? It's not too soon?" Liv had a hard time getting the words out due to Amanda's pleasurable assault on her lips and when the blonde swiftly pulled her shirt off, to reveal a bra-less torso, she swallowed heavily, her gaze lingering on the two perfectly pink and erect nipples.

"Does that answer your question, detective?" Amanda said seductively and touched her own breasts, playing with her hardened buds, moaning deeply. Liv didn't need any more encouragement and dived into the soft mounds, licking, nibbling and sucking her pale skin with gusto. "Oh, Liv! That feels so good." when the brunette latched onto one of her nipples she couldn't stop a stiffled cry from escaping her rosy lips. "More... I need more, ple... please!"

Luckily for Liv, Amanda was wearing loose yoga pants and there were no difficulties for her to easily slip her hand inside the stretchy material and waisted no time before she pushed Amanda's panties to the side, immediately finding her throbbing clit that was in desperate need of attention. The wetness that coated her fingers was silky smooth and warm, drawing a gasp from Olivia's lips. "Oh, honey! You're drenched. My sweet girl, what am I gonna do with you?" she whispered in a husky voice and began to lightly flicker the small bundle of nerves with the tip of her fingers, drawing more wetness out of the blonde. "Baby, you're soaking."

Amanda had been so tense, anxious and nervous the past couple of weeks and the tension was finally catching up to her, telling her body to loosen up and let go. It had been over fourteen days since they last had sex and their bodies were now ready to explode from built up pressure and it was now clear that they were both ready for release.

As Olivia continued to rub the swollen bud, Amanda threw her head back, her mouth slightly open and eyes closed, her hips thrusting in a synchronized speed as Liv's skillful digits. Suddenly, without warning and to Liv's surprise, Amanda stiffened, her legs trembled and a suppressed grunt escaped her lips, her body experiencing total euphoria before she came crashing down, ending up in a quivering mess in Olivia's arms, panting and whimpering from the intense orgasm.

The older woman gently withdrew her hand from inside Amanda's panties, kissing each breast lovingly before pulling her close to her chest, smoothing the blonde tresses. "Wow, that was pretty intense, sweetie. You okay?" kissing the smaller woman's temple, Liv could see a light sheen of sweat blooming on her forehead and felt Amanda nod against her shoulder. "You sure?" another nod. "Did you lose your ability to speak?" once again the blonde bobbed her head up and down and Liv giggled. "It's okay, I have that effect on women. It's a gift and a curse really."

Amanda lifted her head at that remark, looking at Liv with squinting eyes. "How many are we talking Liv? Two or three? Five or six? A dozen?"

Olivia bit her lower lip and shook her head. "A girl never kiss and tell." she whispered, placing soft kisses all over Amanda's face and neck, feeling her shudder from the sweet affection. "But I'll have you know that there has been no one remotely as wonderful, astonishing, kind, loving, funny and beautiful as you. You mean so much to me, Amanda and I love you so so much." her eyes watered at those words and her throat clogged up with emotions she didn't know she was carrying. Her heartrate increased and her palms started to sweat, preparing herself to ask a question she would've asked her quite some time ago if she hadn't been such a coward and changed her mind every time.

"Move in with me!?" she blurted out as if it was the most normal question that people ask each other every day.

When Amanda didn't answer, but instead just stared at her, eyes wide and mouth hanging open, she instantly felt as if she had dropped the biggest bomb before her and it was just about to blow. "That didn't come out the way I planned it." Liv finally said. "I... I didn't mean for it to sound so blunt and... and short but I've been thinking about it for a while and I... I... I think that maybe we..."

She was cut short when Amanda's lips pressed firmly against her own and that was all the reassurance she needed. "Is that a yes or a very polite and pleasurable no?"

Two small hands found their way underneath Olivia's shirt and bra, finding two already hard nipples and punched them both gently between her thumb and index finger. "It's a definite yes, Lieutenant."


	7. Chapter 7

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 7

"I'm starving, Liv, can we go now?" Amanda whined, sounding like a bored and cranky child. They had dinner plans at a newly opened restaurant and they were already running late to make their reservation due to a paperwork build up that had to be completed before the end of the day. Amanda had just finished her stack of files on her desk and made her way into Liv's office to see if her girlfriend was nearly done with her massive pile.

Chuckling, Liv flipped her file close and looked up at the annoyed blonde standing in front of her. "What are you, five?"

Pouting, Amanda leaned against her boss's desk and sighed. "I'm so hungry my stomach is eating itself."

"That's impossible, honey, but yes, I am finished so let's go and get you fed so you won't pull a tantrum." she winked, stood up and grabbed her belongings.

The sun had set and darkness surrounded the city, only the streetlamps and lights from shops, restaurants and cafes were lighting up the damp streets from an earlier heavy shower. It was cold but not freezing, although Amanda shivered underneath her thick coat, her hands tucked into the deep pockets and the zipper pulled all the way up to her chin. At least Liv had been sensible enough to wear gloves and a scarf, which made Amanda wish she had done the same this morning when they had left the apartment.

"I told you to wrap up, honey." Liv suddenly uttered as if she had read Amanda's mind. "You're gonna catch a cold one of these days."

Rolling her eyes, she glared at the taller woman walking beside her. "Yes, mommy!"

After having starters, main course and dessert, they were both about ready to explode and Amanda leaned back in her chair, hands on her stomach and rubbing gently over her full belly. "God, I look like I'm about seven months pregnant... with twins... big twins." she moaned, "It's hard to believe how hungry I was only an hour ago and now all I want is to lie down and not move for the night. Even breathing hurts. Why didn't you stop me from finishing every meal?"

Liv just chuckled, folded the linen napkin and placed it neatly on the table in front of her. "Oh, so it's my fault that you feel so bloated?"

"Bloated?" the blonde repeated, snorting at the remark. "Bloated doesn't even come near what I'm feeling. Try inflated, expanded, stretched or even pumped. I'm not gonna eat for the rest of the week."

"Always so dramatic. You'll be hungry again by the morning, honey." she chuckled and straightened up on her seat. "You ready to go? I already took care of the bill."

Amanda frowned in surprise. "You did? When?"

"You were too busy eating, my lovely. I'm just glad that I was able to satisfy your hunger. Come on, let's walk home... or should I say, let's roll home." snickering she held her hand out for the younger woman to take and pulled her out of her seat. "We'll take it slow, I promise."

The temperature had dropped a couple of degrees during their stay in the restaurant but Amanda was too full and uncomfortable to notice. Liv, on the other hand, did and drew her shoulders up to her ears, shivering slightly. "It's getting colder." she stated as she slipped the gloves onto her hands.

"Hmpf, I have an extra layer of fat on me from dinner so I'm nice and snug. You should've eaten more, Liv."

"Always the comedian." Olivia leaned down and claimed her girlfriend's lips in a soft and loving kiss before slipping an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "Keep me warm then. As my girlfriend it's your duty to provide your significant other with anything that she might need."

"Anything?" Amanda questioned.

"Anything." they both giggled and continued down the street, arms still wrapped around each other for extra warmth. It was just after nine pm and the city was still buzzing with activity everywhere, people dining, drinking, having coffee with friends, students taking evening and night courses, men in suits hurrying to get home to their wife and children after a long day at work in the city that never sleeps.

Amanda groaned loudly when she could finally make out the apartment building in the near distance after almost twenty minutes of walking. "Thank god, we're here. I'm about to die." Liv just rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's dramatic behavior and pulled her along the sidewalk. Just as they rounded a corner, something, or rather someone, ran straight into the two women, causing them to gasp and take a couple of steps back in surprise and watched as the other person fell backwards onto the wet ground.

"Wow, easy!" Liv said as she approached the young girl trying to get back up onto her feet. "Here, let me help you. Are you okay?"

The two women gasped in unison as the girl brought her head up and a large bruise covered her left eye and cheek. She was only wearing sweats and a thin hoodie, socks but no shoes. "Hey, what happened, sweetie?" Olivia kneeled down next to the teenager, reached out her hand to touch the swollen cheek but the contact was not welcomed as she pulled away and began to crawl backwards, her back hitting a brick wall behind.

"I'm sorry. I... I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I'm sorry!" she pleaded with a shaky voice, her eyes full of fear and pain.

"It's okay, honey." Amanda chipped in and took a step closer, her full stomach was now suddenly forgotten. "What are you doing out here with no shoes on? What happened to your face, honey?"

Liv had already taken her coat off and held it out for the girl who reluctantly nodded and gave Liv permission to drape it across her shoulders for warmth. "Where are you headed?" the brunette asked as she helped the young girl to her feet, holding onto her for support.

"Away." she mumbled, looking behind her shoulder as if someone was following her. "I... I have to go." she stuttered and began removing the coat that Olivia had just placed around her but the brunette quickly stopped her.

"It's okay, keep it on, it's cold." they could see the girl was slightly swaying on her feet, her reddish hair was disheveled and her body looked malnourished and too skinny underneath the baggy clothes she was wearing. "What's your name, honey? I'm Olivia and this is Amanda."

The blonde smiled reassuringly at the girl, hoping to ease her obvious fear and tension. "Audrey, Audrey Davis."

Liv nodded, keeping a calm and comforting smile on her face. "Okay, Audrey. Where do you live?"

Immediately the girl became uncomfortable and began to shake her head violently, looking over her shoulder repeatedly and her green eyes welled up with tears. "No, please... please, you can't take me back there... you can't... I won't go back." she started to make a move for it but Liv stepped right in front of her to stop her from going anywhere.

"Go back where, honey?" she questioned as gently as she could. She didn't receive an answer and she threw a glance at Amanda who was observing the girl with a worried expression and then back at the girl. "It's okay, you can tell me."

"My... my foster family. Please, I can't go back there, don't send me back." she desperately cried, the tears now falling down her bruised face and she shivered from the chill in the air.

"Did they hurt you, honey?" Amanda stepped in, tilting her head downwards so she could look at the girl who seemed to be frozen on the spot, gaze fixed on the ground in front of her. The silence said it all and they didn't need a verbal confirmation to understand what was going on. This child was being abused and simply tried to run away.

"Okay, sweetie. We're gonna take you to a hospital to make sure you have no other injuries." the older woman decided and looked around to see if there was any taxis nearby.

"NO!" the girl yelled and, again, made an attempt to escape which didn't work and Amanda was the one to stop her this time.

"Honey, calm down. We're here to help you, we're police officers. See?" she held her badge out for the teenager to look at and Olivia did the same in hopes that it would calm the frightened child.

"Oh my god! You're gonna take me back... you're... you're gonna make me go back to that place. Please... I... I don't want to... you can't make me!" screaming, she began to trash around, trying to break free from Olivia's hold on her shoulder but there was no use since the brunette was much too strong for her and she gave up after only a few seconds. "Please, let me go." she whispered and her weak and vulnerable voice tugged at the detective's hearts.

"Okay, okay, easy! No hospital, okay. I promise." Liv soothed and gently stroked the girls back, feeling her protruding spine underneath her fingers. "Why don't we get out of the cold for a bit and we'll see were to go from there, okay? We only live a block away."

"Yeah," Amanda added, "come on, let's get warmed up. I don't know about you but I could use a big cup of hot chocolate."

As the three of them stepped inside the warm apartment, Frannie instantly trotted towards them, sniffing the air and studied the newcomer thoroughly before licking the gils hand. Audrey gasped and stepped back, afraid that the dog might hurt her.

"This is Frannie Mea. She won't hurt you, I promise." Amanda said as she rubbed the dog's head affectionately. "See, she's as friendly as they come. Frannie, this is Audrey." The pitbull cross started to wag her tail and she spun around on the floor once, her tongue hanging out, wanting to play. "I'll play with you later, girl, okay? Now, go to bed."

Obediently, the dog flopped herself down on her soft bed, sighed but kept her eyes open to see what was going on around her. Liv gently guided Audrey to the couch, told her to sit down while she replaced her coat with a thick and warm blanket. "Where were you running to, honey?" Liv questioned as Amanda made herself busy in the kitchen, making hot chocolate for them all.

"I... I don't know, I... I just ran, I guess. I didn't really have a plan figured out. I... I just had to get away." she shivered underneath the blanket, her teeth shattering and her face flushed.

Carefully, Olivia leaned down and touched one of the girl's feet and removed her soaked socks, alarmed at how icy her skin felt. "Oh honey! You're absolutely frozen." she held the feet between her palms, rubbing them gently, then she disappeared into the bedroom but came back a minute later with a pair of wolly socks. "Here, sweetie, can I put these on you?" Audrey nodded weakly and sat in silence while the detective carefully slid the warm socks onto her chilled feet.

"Three hot chocolates." Amanda announced and placed three cups on the coffee table in front of them, the smell hitting their nostrils and the blonde gently handed her a cup. "Careful, sweets, it's hot."

A couple of minutes were spent in silence as they sipped their tasty drink, Frannie looking slightly jealous but didn't beg since she knew her master wouldn't give her any type of chocolate no matter what. "Where are your parents, honey?" Olivia broke the silence and noticed a wave of sadness cloud the girl's green eyes.

"They're... they're dead. They died when I was six, I'm fourteen now. Been in the system ever since." the warmth from the cup was soothing and she could feel herself slowly starting to warm up but, as she gradually began to get her body temperature back to normal, her eyes started to droop slightly, feeling exhaustion taking over her senses.

"What are your foster parents names?" Liv wanted to know and threw a glance in Amanda's direction, both worried for the girl's well-being and her emotional state.

"Hank and Susan Samuels." her voice was more of a whisper and she drained the last of her chocolate, placed the cup on the table and pushed the blanket that was wrapped around her shoulder away. "Thank you for the hot chocolate but I better go now." her words slurred as she spoke and, when she made an attempt to stand, her knees buckled and she would've hit her head on the coffee table if Liv hadn't been quick enough in her actions and caught her falling half way.

"Whoa, sweetie?!" she immediately felt the heat radiating from Audrey's skin and she placed her palm on her forehead and then her cheek, gasping at the sudden change in temperature. "My god, she's burning up. Call a bus, we have to get her to a hospital right away."

Olivia knew she was breaking her promise by taking her to see a doctor but there was no other way to work around this. By placing the petite frame back onto the sofa, Liv hoped that she could at least make her as comfortable as possible while they were waiting for the paramedics to show up. Copper hair had fallen over Audrey's flushed features and Liv gently brushed them to the side, stroking her face with her cool fingers, providing some sort of comfort for the girl.

"They'll be here in a few minutes." Amanda informed and watched as the maternal side of Liv appear, right before her eyes and she felt a slight tug in her chest but, why?, she didn't know. Maybe it was the fact that she knew what a great mother Olivia would be if given the chance and the opportunity to raise, care and love a child. It made her suddenly think about their future and how uncertain everything really was. Nothing was ever set in stone and no one could predict the future and it made Amanda feel slightly panicked and flustered.

"Amanda?" Liv's voice brought her out of her thoughts. This was not the time to be thinking about having kids or not. "Could you bag her socks? The more evidence, the better."

Almost five long hours into the night, a doctor approached the two detectives, both slumped down on each chair, trying to stay awake after a long day of hard work and spending hours at the hospital, waiting for an update on Audrey. Amanda rested her head on Olivia's shoulder and their hands were clasped together, fingers intertwined.

The doctor cleared his throat as he stood in front of them. "Detectives?!"

They both quickly snapped out of their sleepy state and got to their feet. "How is she?" Amanda asked, worried for the girl's injuries and her fever induced mind.

"Well, she came to as we lifted her onto the bed and began kicking and screaming, didn't want anyone to touch her so we had to administer a sedative into her drip. We did a rape kit, as you requested, and we did find evidence of recent sexual assault and sent the kit to the lab. She has a pretty high fever, bruises on her face and inner thighs and some old fractures on her ribs that must've healed themselves over time. She's also dehydrated, underweight and malnourished. We'd like to keep her here for a few days to pump her up with some vitamins and fluids. She's still sleeping but should come out of it soon enough. You can see her if you'd like. Second door to you right." he pointed down the corridor. "Please, let me know if there's anything else I can do for you, detectives."

"She has been abused for quite some time." Amanda whispered, wrapping her arms around herself to keep a sudden chill from getting to her bones. "How did this happen?"

Olivia sighed, moved closer to the blonde and kissed her gently on her cheek and pulled her in for a brief hug. "We know how it happened, honey, we just need to put a stop to it. She's out of there now, they can't hurt her anymore." she informed, running her knuckles down Amanda's soft cheek. "Come on, let's go and see if she'll wake up for us."

Audrey looked so small and fragile all tucked in underneath the blankets of the big hospital bed. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was nice and even, her skin pale but cheeks flushed from the high temperature. "She looks so small." Amanda murmured as she walked up close to the sleeping child. Something stirred inside of her as she looked down on the beaten form and she could feel anger and sadness wash over her, making her feel heavy and almost limp. Who could ever do such a thing to a child?

"I know, sweetie. She'll get better with time and counseling. We'll make sure she gets a good home with people who will love her." she wrapped an arm around Amanda's shoulders and pulled her close to her side. "She's gonna be okay."

"I hope so." the blonde sighed in defeat. "I know how the system works and, a lot of the time, it doesn't work at all. Kids are, and always will be, placed in homes where they won't get the care and love that they deserve. She won't be placed in a foster home after this. They'll put her in a crappy overcrowded group home with older girls, and possibly boys, and she will turn invisible to the society."

Olivia easily picked up on the sadness in Amanda's voice and sadly knew she was speaking from personal experience and it pained the older woman that her girlfriend had gone through such a traumatic childhood without the love and support that every kid should have. Kissing the top of her head, Liv turned in the embrace, allowing them to face each other, and spoke softly in a sincere voice. "If that's true, then why don't you look in the mirror and tell me what you see?" she asked calmly, firmness lacing her tone. "When I look at you I see a beautiful, strong, kind and resilient woman who wakes up and go to work every morning, to protect and serve innocent people on a daly basis, someone who would rather risk her own life to save others and I see someone who is cabable of _everything_ that's good even though she had a very rough and dark childhood. I see you, Amanda, and we will find someone who will see all those things when they look at this child. I promise."


	8. Chapter 8

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 8

It took Audrey almost a full hour before she woke up groggy and slightly disoriented. "Where I am?" she asked, her voice laced with fear and confusion, looking at the two women who were sitting on a chair each a few feet from the bed.

"You're in the hospital, honey. You passed out i our apartment, don't you remember?" Amanda questioned as she stood up and approached the girl. "You passed out due to a high fever, plus you're malnourished and dehydrated, sweetie. You wanna tell us about that?"

Audrey closed her eyes briefly, trying to recall what had actually happened and who these two women were and how she had ended up here. "Um, yeah, I remember now." she whispered, looking down at her hands in embarrassment. "Sorry about that."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Audrey. I'm just glad you bumped into us... literally." the blonde smiled and sat down on the edge, studying the small and frightened teenager. "How long have you been living with Hank and Susan?"

"About a year. Before that I was... I was in a bunch of other places. Some good, some bad." she tried to sit up but a sudden uncomfortable dull pain made itself known in her lower belly and she stopped moving. "Why... why am I sore... down there? How... I didn't... I mean, I'm not..."

"Easy," Olivia chipped in and stood by Amanda's side, placing a gentle hand on the blonde's lower back. "The doctors did a rape kit while you were sleeping and..." she sighed, dreading to inform the girl about the inevitable issue, "there were signs of recent sexual abuse, honey."

Audrey's eyes went wide with fear and anger, not understanding why such a procedure had been done and without her knowing about it. "Why? I... I never gave them permission to... to... to do that."

"It was done because I asked them to, sweetie. I know you feel embarrassed and you're angry but it was for the best. We just wanted to make sure that you were okay, physically, and that there was no damage done or any sexual transmitted infections. The tests did come back clear so that's good news, honey." Olivia watched as the girl's cheeks went red with shame and how her eyes filled up with threatening tears, ready to spill out any second.

"It's okay, sweetie." Amanda, already feeling a connection with the girl, gently took her cold bony hand and caressed the knuckles with her thumb back and forth. "We're here to help you, okay? And I promise you that you will never go back into that house again. We'll protect you and find somewhere else for you to go but, until then, you have to stay here, only for a few days, until you get your strength back and feel a little better."

It was hard to have such a heavy and complex conversation with a child even though Amanda knew that this girl was more emotionally and mentally mature than her actual age, having to grow up faster than kids raised in loving and supportive families and households. She knew, from personal experience, what it was like to live in a grouphome with other teenagers. No privacy, no piece and quiet, your things were bound to be stolen or messed with and nothing was permanent. Teenagers coming and going, kids you made friends with one day were suddenly gone the next and you would never see them again.

Audrey frowned and looked at the two women as if they had no idea what they were talking about. "I know the system, okay. They're not gonna put me in another foster home, I'm too old. I'll be placed in a shitty grouphome. I'm better off on my own."

"No, sweetie, you're not. You're only fourteen, you're too young to be on your own. We can't let you do that." Amanda insisted, sighing sadly as Audrey pulled her hand away from her gentle grip. "I know this is hard to talk about but when did the abuse start?"

Audrey turned her head to the side, fixed her eyes on a small crack on the floor and stared at it, hard. "Almost right away." her answer was simple but informative, telling the detective's what they wanted to hear and what the needed to know.

Liv tilted her head to the side and offered the girl a compassionate look even though the teenager could not see her. "And the sexual abuse?" Green eyes suddenly locked with brown and Olivia saw the pain behind the cloudy fever induced facade and her chest tightened with emotion.

"About four months ago." she whispered in a soft voice and the detectives really had to concentrate on her words to pick up on what she was saying. "Hank started to come into my room at night and he would... he... he would lay down next to me, touch my neck, my stomach, my... my breasts." her voice hitched slightly but continued anyway. "At first he didn't do more than that but... but after a while he... he would... he would start touching me in other places and one night he... he... he went all the way."

Tears rolled down her flushed cheeks, her bottom lip quivered and her throat closed up, making every breath feel strained and laboured. "Susan knew, she knew what he was doing to me but she didn't care. She didn't try to stop him or help me. She said that she was relieved that she didn't have to satisfy him anymore."

She broke down in hysterical sobs and Amanda, who saw a bit of herself in the young girl, couldn't just sit there and do nothing. Swiftly, she scooted over on the bed and engulfed the crying teenager in a strong hug, smoothing her copper hair down her back and whispering words of comfort. This girl needed their help before it was too late.

It was almost four am when Olivia and Amanda left the hospital, having Audrey promise them to not run away and stay put and Liv also informed the nurses to keep an extra eye out in case she did make a run for it. Instead of heading home they went straight to the precinct, ready to take on Audrey's case and to start the paperwork. "Can't we just arrest the bastards now?" the blonde questioned as they were sitting on the couch inside Liv's office, reflecting over everything that had happened the past six hours.

The older woman pulled the blonde close to her body and kissed her temple. "I wish we could, sweetheart, but we have to wait for Barba to come in to give us an arrest warrant. You know this, honey." she soothed and felt the small form in her arms shiver. "Cold?" she questioned and pulled a throw, that was hanging on the arm rest over her, rubbing her hand up and down Amanda's arm while the other gently stroked her face and head.

"A small bit." she admitted and cuddled even closer to Olivia's warmth. "Cold, tired and a bit hungry."

"Hungry?" Liv stated, amused by Amanda's confession. "I though you said that you were so full last night that you would last a whole week without eating. What happened, honey?"

Amanda rolled her eyes and looked up at the Lieutenant, her body beginning to warm up and relax against the softness of her girlfriend and the sofa. "I may have exaggerated a small bit when I said that."

"A small bit?" a heartfelt laughter filled the room, low and rumbling, evolving deep from her stomach. "Honey, you even blamed me for not stopping you from eating all of it. I believe there's a monster in your belly."

Amanda snorted but soon began to giggle as she felt Liv's long and slender fingers poking her ribs and stomach, tickling her and pinching her lightly in places she knew would set the blonde off into a heap of flailing limbs, kicking and screaming, begging Liv to stop the sweet torture. After a few minutes of tickle fight, Amanda finally surrendered and relaxed against the cushions behind her, panting heavily. "I'm tired, Liv." she confessed, her eyes feeling dry and vision strained.

"Yeah, me too, sweetheart. Why don't we just close our eyes for a small while, ugh? Come here!" she opened her arms, inviting the young detective to snuggle up against her side and wrapped them both in the blanket. "Just try to sleep for a little bit." she whispered into a nearby ear and kissed the blonde head resting on here shoulder.

Amanda cuddled up as close as she could possibly get to the warm body next to her and sighed in content. "There's no monster in my belly, Liv." she murmered, already half asleep.

"Shhh, just sleep, my love. Just sleep."

"Lieutenant, I've got the... oh!" that's how Carisi found the two women at eight am, sound asleep, Liv's arms wrapped securely around the smaller woman, wrapped in a blanket and snoring softly.

"Is she not in yet?" Fin questioned from behind and then popped his head up above Carisi's shoulder to find out why the young man had suddenly stopped in the middle of a sentence and why his posture had changed all of a sudden. "Oh!" he stated as he observed the sleeping duo on the couch, chuckling as he flickered his gace to the man beside him, seeing his face turn red as a beetroot. "That shade of pink really suits you, Carisi. It looks really pretty on you." Fin batted his eyelashes but winched as he felt a firm punch in the shoulder. "Ouch, man! That's assault on a police officer."

"Yeah, what are you gonna do, report me?"

"That's not a bad idea. I might just do that. I'm sure I've got a nice big bruise to prove it too." Fin shot back, rubbing the sore area on his shoulder.

"Will you boys ever stop bickering? It's like having two toddlers running around, kicking, crying and screaming."

Olivia's sleep induced voice suddenly interrupted their banter, causing the two men to switch demeanor completely, as if they had been caught doing something naughty and Carisi instantly went into his panic ridden stuttering state. "Liv! I... I mean, Lieutenant! Hi! Um, what are you... I mean, why did you two... I'm um... how did... um, never mind... I'm... I'm... um, need paperwork to do, I... I need to do paperwork so I'm, eh gonna go and do paperwork. Working those papers."

Stuttering like a self conscious teenage boy, who just spoke to a cute girl for the first time, Carisi quickly turned and almost ran to his desk, stiff and uncoordinated in his movements and fell into his seat, literally burying himself in the stack of files.

Liv felt the small body in her arms shake with suppressed laughter and she had a hard time containing herself too, listening to Carisi's awkward stutter made everything seem lighter, a small comical break from the long night they had just experienced. "I guess we fell asleep." Amanda yawned and stretched her aching limbs, hearing her joints crack and pop in places she didn't know was possible. "Ow, I'm too old to be sleeping in a curled up position. My body is killing me." she groaned, reached her arms above her head to release some of the tension, causing here shirt to ride up and expose a bare taut stomach.

Liv instantly felt arousal creeping up and all she wanted was to caress that soft pale skin, letting her hand drift lower, inside Amanda's pants and panties, working her fingers inside her girlfriends warmth. "Your body is killing me too." gently she slid her palm across the smooth surface of Amanda's skin, moaning in frustration of knowing that her urges would have to wait.

"Get your head out of the gutter, Lieutenant." the blonde smirked, leaned forward and softly kissed Olivia's tanned skin on her neck, letting her lips nibble gently on her earlobe and chuckled as she heard her girlfriend gasp in surprise. "Come on, boss. We've got work to do."

"It was worth a try."

Hank and Susan were arrested and brought into the precinct for processing. Upon entering their home, the two women were shocked by the state of the house. There were mould on the ceiling and floor in all the rooms, rubbish everywhere, leftover food covered with flies and maggots on kitchen counters and anywhere else where there were space. The smell was horrendous, making their stomachs turn and they couldn't get out fast enough, desperate for fresh air.

Audrey's social worker, Helen Whitmore, was then called to the station to be informed about the latest news. The woman didn't seem to be too worried about it, saying that her visits and other paperwork were up to date and everything appeared to be fine the last time she had visited the Samuels household.

"I wouldn't even let an animal take a step inside that house." Amanda yelled at Helen, her face burning with anger, eyes darkening with hate and her voice changed into an almost deep threatening growl that caused even Liv to take a step back, eyes wide from her girlfriend's wrath. "There's no way in hell that you ever visited that house. She was beaten and raped for christ sake! Don't you have a decent fucking bone in your body? Consider yourself out of a job, lady!"

Amanda knew she was out of line for screaming at her in the middle of a crowded room but she honestly couldn't care less at the moment. She was about to let loose again when she felt a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from doing or saying anything that she might regret. "Easy, Amanda." it was Fin who had brought her back to her senses and she let him lead her out of there and in to Olivia's office, letting Carisi and their Lieutenant to deal with the situation.

Liv had thrown Fin a worried glance as he led the blonde in to her domain but she knew that he would manage to calm her down. No matter how much she wanted to be with Amanda right now, she knew she had a job to do and, first and foremost, she had to do this for Audrey. She deserved better. Carisi had already called for a replacement social worker to take over Audrey's case but it wouldn't be until after lunch time, due to heavy caseloads and shortage in staff so there was nothing they could do until then.

"She okay?" Olivia asked as Fin walked out of her office and silently closed the door behind him.

"She's upset and doesn't want to talk. Maybe you'll have better luck than me?"

Liv took a breath before entering the quiet room. Amanda was seated on the couch, perched on the edge, legs shaking from frustration and her body rocked slightly back and forth, short breaths passing through her nose, clearly very agitated and angry.

The brunette cautiously approached her and sat down next to ber girlfriend, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You okay, baby?" That was all it took before Amanda flew into Olivia's arms, sobs wracking her body from the force of the strangled cries. "Oh, baby! Hush, sweetheart, everything is gonna be okay. Just try to breath, honey. Just breath."

A few minutes of reassuring words and soothing touches, Amanda finally calmed down enough to breath normally and Liv could feel her relax in her embrace. "This case is really hard on you, ugh?" the sniffling blonde stiffled another sob and nodded, not trusting her voice right now. "I know, baby, I know. It's hard. There's another social worker coming after lunch and we'll make sure that Audrey gets the proper care and approach. We're not gonna give up on her, I promise."

"I... I just want her to... to be okay." Amanda cried as she pulled herself away from the comfort of her girlfriend's arms. "I... I don't know why this case is upsetting me so much. I mean, we deal with these kind of cases almost on a daly basis. I... I'm sorry."

"No, sweetheart, never be sorry for caring about a child. That's what makes you a good detective and a good person." she paused and wiped the tears from Amanda's wet cheeks. "Do you know what I think? I think she reminds you of yourself when you were her age. Am I right?"

Blue eyes narrowed and her gaze flickered for a moment, thinking about what Liv had just said and, to be honest, she was right. She did remind Amanda of herself at a young age and she didn't want this girl to go through some of the things that she had to endure during her own childhood.

She met Olivia's gentle brown orbs and let out a shuddering breath. "Yeah. Yeah, she does."


	9. Chapter 9

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 9

"A group home? Is that the best you can do?" Liv was trying to convince Audrey's new case worker that a foster home would be a better option for the girl and not some over crowded place with raging teenagers who could have all sorts of problems, like drug abuse, prostitution or god knows what else. Audrey didn't belong in a place like that.

"I'm sorry, but due to her age it's going to be impossible to find her another foster family. Children over the age of thirteen are usually the harderst to place. I'm not really caught up on this case, Lieutenant, but I know how the system works. I'm sorry, but it's the best I can do."

"The best you can do?" Olivia ans the social worker both turned around at the sound of Amanda's sharp tone laced with venom. "The best you can do is to put her in a loving and supporting home where she will get all the right attention and help that she needs, that's the best you can do."

"Detective Rollins, I understand your frustration, I really do but we simply don't have a home that we can place her in, right now. A group home is the best option at the moment. I'm gonna make some calls and see if there are any places willing to take her. I'll get back to you in a couple of days."

Liv swallowed her anger. She knew all the social workers were over worked and were forced to take on almost double the amount of case loads due to lack of resources, funding and staff. She was livid that children had to go through such awful and traumatic experiences in early life only to end up in some shitty home where things were probably not much better than what they had already escaped. The anger she felt wasn't aimed at the social worker herself, but at the whole system and the parents who are suppose to love and protect their kids no matter what, but things were never that simple, never black and white. She had to keep her professionalism and follow protocol herself.

"Alright," Liv sighed, "thank you, Miss Watson. We'll keep in touch." Amanda didn't even meet the woman's gaze as she walked out of Liv's office, her anger evident in her whole posture and Olivia didn't know whether to stay away from her or try to calm her down. She had never seen the blonde so infuriated before and she wasn't quite sure what to do or what to make of it.

She closed the door to give them both some privacy, not wanting Fin or Carisi to see their collegue so distraught and knowing that Amanda would be extremely uncomfortable and embarrassed if they did. "You wanna talk?" she asked while keeping her distance and just watched the blonde pace back and forth inside the private room, hands placed on her hips and her teeth had found a spot on her lower lip to bite down on.

When she didn't answer, Olivia took a seat on the couch, trying to keep herself calm and collected for her girlfriend's sake, even though she felt her own anger simmering. "You wanna curse, swear, scream, cry? Anything?"

Amanda stopped her repetitive steps and looked at the seated brunette, eyes fiery and dark. "Why do I have to do anything?" she hissed, "why do I always have to feel something when I'm with you? Why can't I just feel whatever I feel and not talk about it or have an explenation or a reason for it? How can you just sit there and be so calm? Just leave me alone?" she snapped as she rushed passed her boss and left the precinct, leaving two confused male detectives by their desks, wondering what the hell was going on.

"You okay, Lieu? Is Amanda okay?" Fin approached the still seated woman with a worried expression.

"She just need some space and time. She'll come around, thanks for asking. I know you care about her."

"Always." he seriously stated. "I care about you too. You okay?" he sat down in the opposite corner of the sofa, turning his body so he could face his long time friend.

Olivia closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm just infuriated with this whole thing. Amanda is taking this really hard and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm letting her down." she whispered, her eyes welling up but swallowed her tears before they had a chance to escape.

"What do you mean? How are you letting her down?" Fin wanted to know, not understanding his boss's reasoning.

"I feel like she expects me to do more, to do more for Audrey, since I'm in command. I know it's all in my head but I can't help but to feel like she's mad and disappointed in me for letting this happen."

"Liv, you didn't let this happen and she knows that and so do you. There's only so much we can do in cases like these. At least she's out of that god forsaken shit hole of a place and that's because of you and Amanda. You saved her from an abusive situation and got her to safety. You've both done your part and no one expects any more from you."

Liv felt a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Shit hole, ugh?"

Smiling back, Fin shrugged. "I saw the pictures of the place and I know a shit hole when I see one."

Olivia had a gnawing feeling in her gut for the next hour and a bit. Amanda had till not returned to the precinct and she was not answering her phone. The fear of the blonde cutting herself again made Liv desperate to find out where she was, needing to know that she was safe. Then it hit her. She was probably with Audrey at the hospital, making sure she was okay. Quickly she grabbed her coat and purse and headed out the door.

She was right. As she briskly walked down the corridor towards the girl's room, she could hear Amanda's voice, talking to Audrey about the news, trying to break it to her gently. Liv stopped just outside the door and listened to her girlfriend's gentle voice, telling this child what the social worker had told them. She knew she shouldn't be eavesdropping but she felt as though she couldn't move from her spot, as if her feet were glued to the floor.

"I know it's upsetting for you, honey. If I had any authority here I wouldn't let them place you in a home full of strangers." Liv could hear the disappointment in her voice as she spoke, her heart ached for her and Audrey, wishing that there was something she could do that would benefit all of them.

"It's okay, it's not your fault. I know the system." Audrey's soft tune rang out and Liv could hear the sincerity behind it.

"I wish you didn't know the system. I wish that no child would know the system and I'm sorry that you, unfortunately, know so much about it. I wish I could change that for you."

"Why do you care so much, anyway? I mean, I'm just any other kid, I'm sure you deal with kids all the time."

What Amanda said next caused tears to well up in Olivia's eyes and she had to brace herself not to let out a loud sob. "You remind me so much about me when I was your age." she softly admitted. "I never got the help that I needed when I was a child because no one cared enough to bother, not even my parents. They kicked me out when they found out I was gay."

A brief pause of silence filled the room and Liv was concerned that Amanda had started to cry or gotten upset when she couldn't hear her voice anymore, and was just about to enter to see if she was alright when Audey spoke up. "Is Olivia your girlfriend?"

If Olivia had been inside the room she would've seen the smile creeping up on Amanda's lips as the teenager mentioned her lover. "Yes, she is."

"She loves you." Audrey simply stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I've only spoken to both of you, together twice, but I'm not blind. Anyone could figure that out."

Amanda laughed heartedly. "You're very observant for a fourteen year old, I give you that."

Audrey shrugged. "Just stating the obvious. Maybe I'll make a great detective one day." she smirked and shifted between the stiff sheets, gasping out loud as her ribs decided to intervene. "I keep forgetting about my ribs. I guess I didn't feel any pain as I was running away, you know, the adrenaline or whatever it's called."

"Easy, honey." she helped the girl get comfortable and tucked the covers tightly around her. "The doctor did say that you have some old fractures on your ribs and that's the pain you're experiencing. What you went through last night probably triggered it, plus you do have a few bruises on both your sides and... and your... inner thighs." she softly finished, feeling a wave of sadness wash over her as she thought about what this young girl had gone through.

"You wanna tell me about those bruises, honey?" the blonde gently prodded, wanting the girl to open up.

Audrey looked away as her eyes filled up with tears, her chest and throat clogged up from fighting the need to cry. "It's okay, sweetie." Amanda scooted closer to the girl and took her hands in her own, giving them a gentle squeeze. "You don't have to, just know that I'm here whenever you're ready. You have nothing to be ashamed of, okay?" Audrey didn't trust her voice so a simple nod gave Amanda her answer.

Olivia hadn't moved from her spot outside the room as she listened to her girlfriend speaking to the troubled girl. Amanda seemed to take this case close to heart and if this girl was important to Amanda, then it was important to her as well. She was just about to turn around and leave when she could hear Audrey's shaky tone breaking the silence.

"He... he started to come into my room... at night." she cried softly. "At first he didn't do anything to me. He would just lay down next to me, staring at me. I... I told Susan about it but... but she just said I was probably dreaming or just making things up." she looked into Amanda's gentle blue eyes, her bottom lip quivering. "I didn't. I didn't make it up."

Amanda was quick to brush the teas away with the pads of her thumbs and tucked her copper hair behind her ears so she had a clear view of her flushed face. "I know honey. I know you didn't. I believe you." she whispered, quite surprised that Audrey had decided to open up after all even though she had been reluctant to.

"Eventually he began touching me, saying that... that we could make each other feel good." swallowing her tears she continued. "It didn't. It didn't feel good at all." she whispered. "It hurt. It hurt so bad when he.. when he... he put it... inside. I screamed, I told him to stop but he wouldn't listen, he... he just kept doing it." curling into a little ball, even though her ribs hurt, she started to cry and whimper. "I didn't want it. I didn't want it, Amanda."

The blonde woman opened her arms and pulled the girl close to her chest, rubbing her back and stroking her slightly unruly hair. "Oh, I know, sweetheart, I know and I'm so sorry he hurt you. He had no right to do what he did to you. No one has the right to touch you if you don't want them to. I'm so sorry, baby, so so sorry."

Liv found tears silently rolling down her own cheeks as she listened to Audrey's words, picturing a young and scared Amanda in the same position and her throat contracted at the image and she had to forced herself to push it to the side. Turning on her heels, she hurried back down the corridor and left the building emotional and her thoughts disarray.

Walking back to the precinct, she had a chance to clear her head and think about this troublesome case from another perspective. Cases involving children were always the hardest to deal with, everyone in the squad felt the exact same way and it, somehow, became personal if there were kids involved in such heinous crimes as sexual abuse and rape.

Amanda had gone through an awful time as a child and teenager and so had Audrey. They could help each other heal and perhaps find some kind of closure in each other's company and eventually find the courage and power to move on from their past experiences. They needed each other and Liv understood that. Was a group home really the best thing for this girl, since a foster family was apparently out of the question? It didn't sit right with Olivia. Not right at all and she already knew that Amanda hated the idea and probably Audrey too, even though she didn't let it show. The poor girl was so use to the foster system that she had given up all hope that things would ever get better and, instead, she just took whatever was given to her and rolled with it.

It must've been very difficult for Audrey to lose her parents at such a young age, motherless and fatherless, an orphan and now just a burden to the Child Protective Services and society. It wasn't fair on the girl, nothing was fair in these situations and it was completely out of the squad's hands, which made them all feel helpless and useless for not being able to help. Something so terrible had happened in the Samuels house that caused Audrey to flee and run for her life, late at night, in the cold with no jacket or shoes and it made Olivia angry, knowing that the protective services had put her in that house in the first place.

"Liv?!"

Snapping out of her buzz, Olivia stopped and looked around, slighly disoriented and puzzled, trying to locate and identify where the voice was coming from. "Barba, hi!" she said with a weak smile and approached him as he swiftly made his way down the steps of the courthouse, briefcase in hand and a cup of coffee in the other, as usual.

"You here to see me?" he flashed a smile and took a sip from his paper cup.

"Actually, I was just heading back to my office. Bumping into you was just a bonus." she smiled meekly. "How was court?"

"Great, I won!" he snickered but his grin faded slightly as he noticed Olivia's defeated look. "You okay? You look a bit down in the dumps."

"Yeah, it's just..." she sighed deeply and shoved her hand into her pockets. "It's just this case we're currently working on and Amanda is taking it really hard."

"And if Amanda is taking it hard, then you are taking it hard." Barba chipped in, making his statement known.

"Something like that." the brunette explained, chuckling lightly at how well their DA knew her.

"Anything I can do to help?" he questioned as he sensed the stress and worry that the detective was going through and, as a friend, felt the need to ask.

Olivia was just about to decline his offer but an idea popped into her head all of a sudden. "Actually, there is something you can do."


	10. Chapter 10

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 10

The two detectives visited Audrey in the hospital every day, Amanda more so than Liv since she had to hold down the fort and make sure that the guys didn't kill each other with their constant banter and messing around. Sometimes it felt like she was in kindergarten when she was around the two of them but, even though they were a pain in the ass on occasion, Liv wouldn't have it any other way.

Amanda had been unusually quiet the past couple of days, which worried Olivia. She knew it had to do with Audrey and that she was sad and feeling guilty about the girl going into a group home. She had spent most of her time in the hospital, talking, laughing, crying and gossiping with the teenager, bringing her snacks and magazines to keep herself busy. Olivia didn't mind that one of her detectives was absent since things were rather quiet anyway but she did miss the blonde around the precinct. She missed sneaking her glances above the rim of her glasses, missed seeing the sway of her hips when she left her desk to get herself a cup of coffee from the coffeemaker and how the blonde hair would shimmer in the light coming from the ceiling.

Lost in her thoughts she jumped from her chair as her phone suddenly rang. It was Amanda. "Hi, sweetie!"

"Liv!" the blonde sounded upset. "The social worker is here, saying that they're taking Audrey somewhere upstate. Can they do that? I mean, I thought they would keep her here, in the city."

The brunette had already grabbed her coat and purse as she listened to her girlfriend's shaky voice. "Okay, calm down, honey. I'm on my way, alright. Don't let them take her before I get there or I'll arrest them for obstruction. Give me fifteen minutes." she ran out the door, got into her car and sped off down the street, her portable blue siren blaring.

There was a lot of commotion going on in Audrey's room and, as Olivia sprinted down the long isle, she could hear the social workers annoyed tone, questioning Amanda why she had to wait when she had all the paperwork in a perfect order. "This is ridiculous, detective! I'm not waiting any longer."

"If you take her, I'll have to arrest you. Orders from my Lieutenant."

"For God's sake! I'm simply doing my job and if you won't let me leave, this instant, I will have to call hospital security."

Liv could hear Amanda laugh at that remark. As if hospital security would interfere with NYPD. "That won't be necessary. I've got pepers here saying otherwise." Olivia entered the room, papers in hand and she spotted the relieved expression on Amanda's face as she appeared.

"What is this nonsense?" the middle aged woman with a cheap suit asked as she scanned the papers she was holding. "Why wasn't I informed about this? I have orders to take her."

Liv approached the woman, snagged the papers out of her hand and looked her dead in the eye. "Yeah, well this is me giving you an order to not take her, so deal with it."

They watched as the woman in the suit snorted in anger, her face turned beet red and she finally stormed out the door, slamming the papers back down at the foot of Audrey's bed. Thank god the girl wasn't there as the doctors were taking some more blood samples before she left. She didn't need to hear them all screaming and shouting at each other, fighting about where she should be placed as if she was a object. Amanda let out a sigh of relief and pointed towards the crumbled up notes. "What's this?" she questioned, picked them up and tried to straighten the papers back out between her palms.

"Read it." Liv said softly, biting her lower lip to stop a huge grin from forming and she waited as blue eyes quickly skimmed through the black print. Gasping, she placed a hand over her mouth, tears rolled down her face and her legs became shaky and Liv hand to help her sit down on the bed to keep her from falling.

"How?" she whispered in wonder. "I mean, I didn't... I'm not... how did... when did you... I... I don't..."

"Shhh, Barba helped me and it turns out that he knows a loooot of people." smiling, she wiped the tears of her girlfriend's face and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I hope I didn't overstep? I mean, I know she means a lot to you and I think you mean a lot to her so I was just..."

"Thank you." she flung her arm around Olivia's neck and held on for dear life, crying on her shoulder. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." she repeated over and over until Liv gently pulled away to look her in the eyes.

"You're very welcome, sweetheart. I just hope that this will work out for all of us. Especially for Audrey."

Sniffling, Amanda dried her tears just in time as the teenager entered the room, smiling as she spotted the two of them there but the smile faded as she noticed Amanda's blotchy face and red eyes. "Where's the social worker?" she hesitantly asked, a feeling of dread creeping up and settling in her stomach.

"She's gone." Liv sighed, tilted her head to the side and offered the girl a weak smile.

Audrey's eyes went wide with fear and her face turned as white as a sheet. "You're... you're sending me back there, aren't you? I... I knew I should've kept my mouth shut." she ran her hand through her hair in a frustrating manner and began pacing back and forth, breathing heavily.

Amanda quickly walked up, placed her hands on the girl's shoulders to stop her repetitive motion and smiled down at her. "You're coming home with us."

Audrey froze, her green eyes searched blue for some kind of sign that she was lying but found none. Instead all she saw was care, trust and loyalty in Amanda's eyes and her gaze flickered between the two women, confused about the whole situation, thinking it was all a joke. A bad joke. "Wh... what?"

,

Liv stepped forward and offered the girl a comforting smile. "It's true, you're coming with us. If you want to, that is? We're not forcing you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

Audrey swallowed and shook her head to clear it, closing and opening her eyes over and over as if she was trying to wake up from a dream or some kind of hallucination. "I... I'm... what are you saying?"

Amanda chuckled lightly at the lost look on the girl's face, taking her hand snd squeezing it gently. "We're asking if you want to come and live with us? We have a spare room that we're not using and it's got your name on it."

The teenager let out a shaky breath, wiped her tears and finally mustered a smile. "I... I don't know what to say, I... I'm... Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" she cried and laughed at the same time, not caring about how silly she might look or appear to them. She felt as if the heaviest burden had been lifted from her shoulders and she immediately felt lighter, more calm and more at peace with herself. She trusted Amanda. They had spent countless of hours talking about everything and nothing. She trusted Olivia too because Amanda trusted her, loved her and respected her. She couldn't believe her luck, how fortunate she was to be able to go home with these two people who had saved her in the first place, rescued her from that horrible place that was suppose to be her home, her sanctuary and her family.

"Come on, girls." Liv interrupted, smiling. "I've already organized so that Audrey's things have been moved to our apartment. The spare room has been used as an office but it does have a bed. Tomorrow we'll go shopping for some stuff that you might need and we'll fix it up whichever way you want it."

It was almost too much for Audrey to take in. No one had ever bothered to take her shopping before, and especially for things that she mights need. The tears kept flooding her eyes and, to Olivia's surprise, the teenager threw her arms around the tall brunette, crying into her shoulder. "Thank you! Thank you so so much. I... I will never be able to repay you for what you've done but I promise I'll be good. I'll be good."

Those words were a bit unsettling to hear and the two detectives wondered how many times Audrey had used that phrase before but in different scenarios. Liv returned the strong hug, rubbed her back soothingly and spoke into her ear. "Just be youself. That's all we ask."

Frannie had been very curious of the newcomer but it didn't take long before Audrey had become a good friend and someone to play tug of war with. After getting a tour of the place she knew she would feel right at home and she couldn't believe how big the apartment actually was and how clean and expensive everything looked. All the other foster homes she had been in only had the bare necessities and most people just saw her as a meal ticket, someone they could treat whichever way they wanted to as long as they got their check from the government. This place, however, had more than she could ever had dreamed of.

"Your home is lovely." she stated as they all sat down by the kitchen table and dug into the pizza that they had ordered for dinner.

"It's your home now too." Amanda corrected her as she took a large slice of ham and pineapple, the stringy cheese hanging from the delicious piece, oozing succulen aromas. "Feel free to do whatever you like."

Audrey blushed at her words. Even though she knew that they had willingly taken her in, she still couldn't stop herself from feeling like a burden or someone who was imposing. It would take her some time to adjust, relax and just be herself. "I can't thank you enough for this. It really means a lot to me."

Amanda, who was sitting next to the girl, gave her a light hug from the side, her throat clogging with emotion. "It means a lot to us too. Don't be afraid to ask for anything if you need, the apartment is yours, including the fridge and the tv. Liv can be a bit of a remote hogger so if there's a programme you want to watch just give her a clatter on the back of her head and she should eventually give in."

"Speak for yourself, missy! You hog all the covers in bed and if there's any chocolate around the place you have to hide it or she will find it and eat it." Liv added with amusement.

"I do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do n..."

"Okay, ladies! Is this going to be an ongoing thing with you two?" Audrey asked, looking slightly baffled due to the childish manners that the two women were showing. "Do I have to call the social services?"

It was only a joke but the two detectives immediately stopped their silly behaviour and looked at the teenager, who was slowly chewing on a slice of pepperoni. "Kidding. Lighten up, ladies."

The blonde looked at the girl in admiration and wonder. "Considering everything you've been through you still have spirit and sass, I like it."

"It's admirable and inspirational." Liv stated softly and stiffled a yawn. "Sorry, it's been a long day."

Audrey felt a yawn creeping up after watching Olivia's wide open gob and sighed. "Yeah, sleeping in a hospital is not a very pleasant experience. The nurses are constantly in and out checking your blood pressure, heart rate and whatever else they feel like they have to take notes on. I had bruises I wasn't dying."

Liv chuckled as she began to tidy up the paper boxes on the table, placing all the slices of left over pizza into one and threw the others in the trash. "I know what it's like. Amanda is not a very cooperative patient once admitted. She would barely let the doctors do their jobs."

"Why were you in the hospital?" Audrey asked bluntly but changed her mind just as the words slipped out. "Oh, sorry, you don't have to answer that." she swallowed nervously and lowered her gaze.

Amanda smiled and patted her lightly on the shoulder in a reassuring manner. "Don't worry about it, sweetie, but it's a story for another day. I'm beat too."

Liv shivered at the memory of Amanda lying in the big hospital bed, looking so small and frail. She walked up to her girlfriend and placed a kiss on her soft cheek, lingering for loner than necessary. "Yeah, it's not a very pleasant story. I'm just glad you're okay, sweetheart."

The teenage girl watched the intimacy between the two and she could easily see the love and affection they felt for one another by the gentle touches and glances they shared now and then when they thought that nobody was looking. It warmed her heart to see such care between two people after witnessing such dark and dreary surroundings for so many years in the foster system. She had only known these people for a few days but, strangely enough, it felt as if they had known each other for quite some time and she liked the thought of finally having a sense of security and calm around her, physically and emotionally.

Frannie had made up her mind about sleeping in Audrey's bed, which the girl didn't mind at all. Trying to sleep in a new and strange place was always hard and, even though the red head was exhausted, she still couldn't relax enough to drift off. The bed was new, her four legged bunk mate was somewhat of a stranger and the sounds, smells and surrounding were also knew and unexplored. It was going to take time to get use to living in a place like this, with people who actually seemed to care for a change.

"I hope she will settle in." Amanda mumbled as she cuddled into Olivia's side, burying her face in the crook of her neck and inhaled the comforting scent.

"She will. Just give her some time, honey." Liv mumbled, already half asleep, her arm loosely draped over the blonde's waist.

Amanda layed there, looking at her lover sleeping in the gloomy lit room, her face resembling the features of an angel with her beautiful long eyelashes, pink slightly parted lips, soft olive skin and dark brown hair fanned out on the white pillow beneath, making it appear like a halo. How and why did she ever get so lucky? Believing in karma, and that by doing good, good will come to you, Amanda didn't understand what kind of good she had done in the past to deserve such loyalty, kindness and care. All she knew was that she never wanted this to end, never wanted the feelings, she was now experiencing, to end.

Is this what happy feels like? Peaceful and an inner calm? Or was it just the calm before the storm that she was sure would start raging when she least expected it? Was that storm Audrey? She giggled quietly at herself, _Storm Audrey, it sounds like an actual storm that the weather people makes up._

The slow and soothing breaths coming from Olivia caused her eyes to droop and her own breathing became deep and even, soon she followed her girlfriend into the land of dreams only to be awakened hours later by a piercing and terrifying scream.

Liv woke first, thinking it was Amanda having a nightmare. She sat up and scooted over to the blonde, stroking her back with a gentle hand. "You okay, baby?" she whispered softly and felt how stiff her body was underneath her touch.

"It's not me, it's Audrey." the younger woman threw the covers back, got up and sprinted down the hall to the guest room where the girl was staying, Liv followed close behind. As Amanda pushed the door open, her breath hitched and her heart ached for the terror that this girl must've gone through. The teenager was awake but curled up into a ball in the corner of the bed, pressed against the wall, her body sweating and shaking from the aftermath of the dream and soft cries were muffled as she sobbed into her arms that were wrapped around her knees for extra comfort.

"Audrey? Audrey, sweetheart?" Amanda tip toed her way in, sitting down on the edge of the bed, leaving at least two foot between them, not sure if the girl would appreciate the proximity. Liv stopped in the doorway, not wanting to overcrowd the teenager and decided to stay behind and observe from a distance.

Audrey sniffled and slowly looked up, tears clouding her vision but she could make out Amanda's worried expression. "It's okay, honey, it was just a bad dream. You're safe here, it's okay." she kept her voice low and gentle, more so a whisper than anything else and reached her hand out for the girl to take. "Come on, sweetie, take my hand. You're okay."

Still shaking like a leaf, Audrey looked at the hand that was silently offering comfort, a bridge between the shallow waters, she was currently wading in, and the safe harbour of security and warmth that Amanda so willingly offered. Sobbing hysterically, she grabbed the hand and felt Amanda's strong pull and, before she knew, she was safely wrapped in her arms, crying on her pajama clad shoulder and felt warm soothing hands rubbing circles on her quivering back as words of reassurance were whispered in her ear.


	11. Chapter 11

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 11

"You wanna tell us about the dream, honey? It'll make you feel better." Amanda asked as they were positioned on Audrey's bed, including Olivia, who had eventually given up the strong need to protect and comfort the girl and she was now kneeling down before the two, offering soothing touches to both Amanda and Audrey.

"How do you know I'll feel better after. What if it makes everything worse?" she wiped her face with her sleeve and, drying her tears.

Amanda chuckled lightly. "Believe me, I know." she threw a glance at Olivia and smiled. "Liv got me to talk about my dreams and memories when I was upset. I didn't think it would help but it did. It helps to let go of of some of the pain and fear that you're holding on to." gently she wiped a stray drop from the girl's cheek. "Tell us, or me, if that will make it easier."

Liv started to get up but Audrey stopped her. "No, it's okay. You can stay. I... I just don't know where to start." she sniffed and took a shaky breath.

"Just tell us whatever you feel comfortable with." Liv chipped in and, once again, kneeled down onto the floor, giving Audrey a weak smile. "We're not gonna let anything bad happen to you, I promise. You're safe here."

Audrey collected herself, closed her eyes briefly and let out a shuddering breath before she decided to tell them about her nightmare. "The dream... it was about Hank and... what he did to me." her hand flew to her mouth as a loud sob ripped through and she found it hard to continue speaking. Amanda scooted closer to the distraught girl and rubbed her back in soothing circles, shushing her gently until she calmed down enough to keep on going.

"One night he... he came into my room and layed down next to me. I could smell his breath, he had been drinking and smoking. He smelled so bad I thought I was gonna throw up." she swallowed at the horrible memory. "He... he started touching me all over... I... I told him to stop but he wouldn't listen. I struggled but he was too strong and he... he... he entered me. God, it hurt so bad, I felt like I was being split in two." she began to cry again, her body shaking from the strangled sobs, her eyes bloodshot and her nose almost completely blocked.

"He... he started moving in and out of me. It hurt so much but he wouldn't stop. I could feel the blood on my inner thighs but he just laughed, saying that... that he had made me... wet." she turned her head in shame, trying to focus on something else in the gloomy lit room, anything, but her head was gently guided back by Amanda's soft touch, urging her to keep going.

Olivia was fighting an inner battle of anger and disgust and Amanda looked like she would break down any second. They had to be strong for Audrey. This was about her, not them. She swallowed her own emotions and said in a hushed tone. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart. What he did to you is on him, not you. The shame is his to bear, not yours."

"She's right, baby. You did nothing wrong." the blonde soothed and resumed the gentle circles on the girl's back, calming the storm.

"No, you don't understand!"

The two women looked at each other, confused about what Audrey meant by not understanding. The girl cried softly into her hands, too embarrassed to look them in the eye and too ashamed of what had happened. Surely they would hate her if she told them the truth. "Please, sweetie, tell us. We're not gonna think any different of you. Whatever it is, we can deal with it together, okay?" Amanda spoke calmly, trying to coax the words out of the distraught child, wanting to know what it was so she could help.

"Please, don't make me say it." Audrey scurried back against the wall again, drawing her knees up to her chest and hiding her face in her arms. "Please, please, don't make me say it." she cried hysterically, petrified about what the two detectives would think of her once they knew.

Olivia stood up and cautiously sat down on the bed as close a she could to the sobbing teenager and spoke with the soft and loving voice that only Olivia could. "Sweetheart, there's nothing you can't say to us. I know we don't know each other very well but we do care about you. We care about what happened to you and we care about what's happening to you now. We are SVU detectives, there's nothing we haven't heard before, trust me. I promise you that you will feel so much better once this is all out in the open. Whatever it is, it's clearly upsetting you a great deal. You've obviously so much pain pent up and it needs to come out now, sweetheart. It's okay to do so."

There was a pregnant pause in the room. The only sound were Audrey's soft stiffled sobs and the occasional hiccup before she eventually brought her head up and blinked at the tears that were clouding her vision, her eyes so full of emotions that a fourteen year old shouldn't be dealing with, or anybody else for that matter. Her copper hair fell over her face like a thick curtain and Amanda gently brushed it to the side, smiling reassuringly. "Tell us, honey. We're here to help you."

The girl began to fidget with the end of her sleeve, needing somethig to focus on and forced herself to speak. "It... it hurt so bad but I... I... I couldn't stop it from... from happening. I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm disgusting and I hate myself, I hate myself!"

"Hey hey, sweetheart! Shhh, calm down, take a deep breath and calm yourself down. Come on, honey. In and out slowly." Amanda guided her through as they together managed to control Audrey's hyperventilating and she was now breathing easier and calmer. "There you go, honey, you're doing great." she soothed and stroked her flushed face with cool fingers.

Olivia knew what Audrey was talking about but she wanted to hear her say it, not because of her own personal need but for the girl's own sake so she could finally feel free and release some of the pressure and pain that she had bottled up for so long. Throwing Amanda a glance, she saw the slightly confused look on her girlfriend's face, as if she was beginning to understand what Audrey had meant when she said that she couldn't stop it from happening and that she felt disgusting and hated herself.

Olivia met her gaze and nodded sadly, tears welling up in her dark brown eyes and saw Amanda's blue ones doing the exact same thing as the news hit her hard by Liv's confirmation. The blonde blinked her own tears away, needing to be strong for Audrey. "Did... did you experience an orgasm, honey?"

There, it was said and out in the open. Maybe it was easier for Audrey to just nod her head and not say the actual words herself? Hearing Amanda ask her about it was hard enough and she felt as though she was falling, fast and uncontrollably, praying that she would have a soft landing when she reached the very bottom. She did. She did land in the softness of both Amanda's and Olivia's arms as she confirmed their worst fear.

Both women held onto the trembling girl, speaking words of comfort and reassurance. They were huddled together so closely the three bodies almost melted into one and Audrey's agonizing cries were the only noise that could be heard within the four walls. After what seemed like hours, Amanda pulled away slightly to establish eye contact with girl but found it hard to do so as Audrey refused to cooperate. "I want you to listen to me, sweetheart, and I want you to listen carefully. What happened to your body is not your fault. It's a biological physiological response. It doesn't mean that you liked it or wanted it. It's kind of like a reflex, something you don't have control over. It's nothing that you did and there's nothing to be ashamed of here. It happens, sweetie, and I'm so sorry you had to experience it in such an awful way."

"She's right, honey." the brunette had found a tissue and was now gently wiping the girl's face, dabbing at the tears that were still flooding down her cheeks in a steady flow. "It's like cutting an onion, you cry but it doesn't mean that you're sad. Or when someone tickles you, even though you don't want them to, you laugh but it doesn't necessarily mean that you're happy. It's a reflex and there was nothing you could have done differently, sweetheart, nothing."

It broke their hearts to see Audrey in such a vulnerable and weak state and they were both afraid to leave her on her own, hell, even to leave her side. It must've been so hard to admit to something so private and, to Audrey, shameful and degrading. "You... you don't hate me?" the girl whispered, her bottom lip trembling and, for a second, she resembled the looks of a five year old than a teenager.

"We could never hate you, honey. Never." Amanda whispered into the darkish room, her own tears now silently rolling down her cheeks, leaving pale and wet streaks in their wake. They sat quietly for another few minutes, just holding onto each other before the two women realised that Audrey had almost fallen back to sleep and, carefully, they pulled back with the intention of tucking her back in but they were stopped by a small whimper in protest and small hands clutched at their arms. "Shhh." Amanda hushed, stroking her copper hair in a motherly fashion.

She looked at Liv. "We can't leave her on her own like this." she pleaded and was grateful when her lover agreed straight away and gently scooped the girl up and into her arms.

"We'll take her into our bedroom. Her bed won't fit two people comfortably." she whispered and kissed Audrey's forehead and frowned when she felt the heat radiate from her pores. "She's warm but it's probably just from the nightmare and all the crying. She'll be okay." she stated as she carried the precious cargo into their own bedroom and placed her in the middle of the super king bed and asked Amanda to get a cool wash cloth for her face and neck, the girl too tired and emotionally drained to walk on her own.

The girl stirred and whimpered underneath the cold compress that Amanda gently dabbed over her face, wiping the tears and sweat that had dried and left smudges all over. "Shh, sweetheart, you're okay. Go back to sleep, we're right here with you."

Olivia watched the blonde's gentle touche and reassurances towards the sleeping girl and couldn't help but to feel a sense of pride washing over her. Amanda was really good with Audrey, not that she was surprised, she had seen how good Amanda was with kids coming into the precinct during horrible circumstances, but this was somehow different. More maternal, loving and caring in a way that Liv had never witnessed before and her heart broke when she heard her girlfriend let out a strangled sob. "Oh, sweetheart, come here!"

She scooted over to the blonde and opened her arms wide, feeling her chest swell with emotions as Amanda buried her face in the crook of her neck and cried softly. "Shhh, my love, it's okay, she's gonna be okay. I've got you, honey, I've got you. Just let it all come out, I'm right here, holding you and I'm not letting go. I'll never let you go."

When Audrey woke the next day her bead was pounding and her eyes sore. She remembered the dream she had the night before and here embarrassing confession and she just wanted to go back to sleep and forget about everything. But Amanda and Olivia had been right to a certain point. She did feel a bit better after sharing her painful secret and she was relieved and immensely grateful that they hadn't turned her away or thought of her as disgusting or some kind of freak. They had both been so understanding and supportive about the whole thing and she felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted.

Her dry eyes stung from the light coming through the window and she groaned in protest, throwing her arm across her face to block some of it out. "Hey, you're awake! How are you feeling, honey?"

It was Amanda's voice and she realized that both women were still in bed, one on each side of her, and she then recalled Olivia carrying her to their bed last night. "Hmmm, turn the sun off, it's hurting my eyes." she groaned and turned her head to the side, facing Olivia.

Both women chuckled softly at her remark and Amanda gently ruffled her unruly hair. "No can do, sweetheart. There's no on and off button on the sun but I can pull the curtains closed if the sun is bothering your eyes." when the light didn't seem to be as bright, she slowly fluttered her green eyes open, trying to adjust to the brightness. "Oh, honey, your eyes look really sore and raw. How's your head?" Amanda sat down on the edge and gazed down at the sleepy girl, a gentle expression of concern written across her face.

Liv was quick to place a hand on her forehead and then ran it down her cheek, checking for a fever but found none. "Cool as a cucumber. Do you feel up to going shopping today or do you want to veg out here in front of the tv and eat junk food?"

"I have a choice?" Audrey asked surprised, as if she had never been given the opportunity to choose between two different things before.

"Of course you do, honey." the blonde stated softly. "We need to get you some stuff for your room, some clothes and other things but if you're to tired or if you don't feel up to it, we won't. We're not gonna force you to do something you don't want to do."

"Don't you have work?" she sat up, rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked at the two women who had so quickly come in to her life.

"Im on call but Amanda is free as a bird." Liv smiled and stretched her long frame. "Hopefully no one will call me so we can spend the day together but I can't promise anything."

Audrey bit her lower lip, thinking about her options. She was tired, so so tired, but she also didn't like the idea of being stuck inside the apartment all day long and not being able to get some fresh air or experience a change in her surroundings. Even though she was born and raised in the city she still didn't know much about it since foster families rarely let their kids out to do activities, like the museums, the zoo or even strolling through central park. She was exited to see the city and to wander down the streets of Manhattan like a normal kid. "Could we do both?" she smiled widely, putting on a charming grin to influence Liv's and Amanda's decision.

"Sneaky, I like it." Liv grinned and poked Audrey gently in her side, mindful of her ribs. "Amanda can be very sneaky too so watch out for that one."

"Hey, can we not talk about me in front of me?" the blonde chipped in and threw her girlfriend an evil look before turning her attention back to Audrey. "We can do both, I guess, but we need to hurry up, it's almost ten."

"Ten!" Audrey gasped. "No wonder I'm so tired. It's the crack of dawn." she did a theatrical wave of her hand, placed it on her forehead and pretended to faint.

They got up, showered, got dressed and ate their breakfast together by the kitchen table, Frannie positioned on the floor, keeping a close watch in case someone happened to drop a crumb of something she could easily swipe up. It was nearly 11.30 by the time they left the apartment and, so far so good, Olivia hadn't been called in to the precinct for a new case... yet.

Audrey felt so bad about how much money the two detectives were spending on her. They had practically bought her a whole new wardrobe with accessories to match, books, make up, magazines, shoes, a beautiful jewellery box and the list went on and on. It made her feel slightly uncomfortable but she knew that the two women only wanted to let her know that they cared and wanted to help.

"Do you need stuff for school, sweetie? Pens, notebooks, files, anything?" Amanda questioned as they sat inside a warm and cozy cafe, sipping coffee and hot chocolate. "Do you think you'll be ready to go back to school on monday?"

Audrey bit her lip, thinking about what Amanda had just said. She did have friends at school that missed her and she missed them. Putting things off would not do her or anybody else any good and she made a decision to at least try. "That's great, honey." Liv smiled tenderly towards the girl. "So there's nothing you need for school?"

Audrey shook her head and finished the last of her chocolate. "No, I'm okay. Thank you so much for... everything. It means a lot to me." tears gathered in her eyes but blinked them away as suddenly as they had arrived.

"You're very welcome, sweetie. I hope that you will like living with us and Frannie. I can tell that she really likes you already." Amanda said softly and snuggled up against Olivia's side. "And so do we."


	12. Chapter 12

In Shallow Waters

Chapter 12

 **A/N. This will be the last chapter of this story as I feel that they all are at a nice and balanced place in their everyday life, including Audrey, who finally found a loving home. It was the first time I included a teenager into a fic and I found that it wasn't really my thing. I tried it and here we are. Thanks for all the reviews and feedback, and especially to my friend Sheepish who is always there to drop a line.**

Olivia was called in to the precinct for a case and had to leave Amanda and Audrey behind. It was almost dinner time and they were all exhausted from all the walking around and shopping mad. They ate the leftover pizza from the night before and settled down on the couch to watch a movie, Frannie snuggled in between the two with her head on Audrey's thigh, snoring lightly. "Is she always this clingy?" the girl asked as she stroked the dog's head gently, feeling the soft fur underneath her fingers.

"Most of the time, yeah. If things doesn't go her way then she can get very odd and she won't really come near you for awhile until you sit down to eat, cook or even mention the word food. Then she's suddenly your best friend again."

Audrey smiled down at the four legged creature lying close to her side. "I always wanted a dog." she whispered. "My parents... my real parents, said I wasn't old enough but that they would think about it once I got older. Now, I'm older but have no parents. It's cruel how things changes sometimes."

Amanda could hear the tears in the girls voice and scooted closer to both Audrey and Frannie. "Come here!" she said softly and opened her arms so the teenager could snuggle up against her side. "We have seen our fare share of cruel, haven't we? I wish we could've met each other earlier, maybe things wouldn't have been so bad for you then. I'm sorry for everything you've been through, honey. I really am, and I wish I could take it all away."

Audrey lifted her head from Amanda's shoulder and smiled sadly towards the blonde. "Thanks. I wish that too."

As the movie played, Audrey started to drift off, the horrible nightmares and all the crying from last night was now taking it's toll and Amanda could soon hear the soft snores coming from both the girl in her arms and Frannie. Smiling gently, she tucked a blanket around the sleeping form and and continued to watch the comedy that was playing, chuckling lightly from time to time.

About an hour later the front door opened and Liv stepped inside, cheeks flushed from the chill in the air. Amanda quickly put a finger up to her lips, telling Liv to be quiet, and pointed down at the girl who was still snoring. "She's wiped." the blonde whispered as the older woman tip toed her way to the couch and beamed down at the scene before her.

"I can tell. Frannie too, ugh?" she took a seat on the coffee table in front of the trio, leaned in a gave Amanda a soft kiss on her lips.

"How was work? Got a new case?"

Sighing, Liv stretched her back and shrugged her coat off, placing it on the sofa next to the blonde. "Yeah, cut and dry though. Perp is locked up and the victim's parents are with her at the hospital. She was roughed up pretty bad but she'll be okay."

"How do you guys handle that shit every day?" Audrey suddenly interrupted, rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and sat upright.

Olivia lowered her head, a feeling of guilt swept over her. "I'm so sorry, honey. I thought you were asleep. You weren't meant to hear that."

Shrugging, the girl began to fidget with the sleeve of her jumper, looking somewhat lost and forlorn. "It's okay," she muttered silently, "nothing I haven't seen, experienced or heard before. Will she be okay?"

The brunette smiled reassuringly and placed a motherly kiss on top of Audrey's head, cupping her face in her hands. "Don't you worry about that but, yes, she will be okay." she sat back down and scratched Frannie behind an ear which caused the dog to stretch and let out a loud snore. "Wow, she's worse than you, Amanda. I suppose the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

Audrey giggled and watched as Amanda threw a cushion at her face but missed as Liv ducked in the last second. "You've gotta work on your aim, detective."

"And you've gotta work on your humour, Lieutenant." the blonde snarled back and made a second attempt to make the cushion hit it's target. It did and Amanda was incredibly proud of herself, satisfied and happy. "Perfect score."

"You're worse than kids." the girl stated, looking at the two as if they had suddenly grown an extra head. "Who's fostering who?"

"She's right Amanda. That's enough." Liv snickered, leaned forward and planted a light kiss on her girlfriend's cheek, enjoying the softness and warmth from her skin. "How was the remainder of your day?"

"It was nice and relaxing. We had some dinner and then decided to watch a movie but Audrey here, fell asleep due to the exhausting shopping spree and I'm actually not far behind." the blonde stiffled a yawn and stretched her muscles. "Frannie has been comatosed the entire time."

"We should all head to bed, then." Liv suggested and stood up. "But first, we have a surprise for you, Audrey. Just give me a second."

Olivia opened the closet door in the hallway and pulled out a bag, the teenager extremely curious to what it might be but also slightly afraid because she never really had any surprises in the past eight years of her life. "Don't look so scared, honey, you'll like it." Amanda smiled reassuringly and patted her on the shoulder.

Liv reached her hand into the bag and pulled out a brand new smartphone and handed it to her. "It's already set up for you, you have mine and Amanda's number in there and the number to my office in case of an emergency. Your internet is restricted to certain sites but you can still use facebook and twitter and google. We noticed that you didn't have one and this will make us feel better, knowing that you can reach us at any time, day or night."

The teenager looked at the phone as if it was a strange and alienated object, something she had never seen before, and tears welled up in her eyes at the sweet and thoughtful gesture. "Th... thank you. Thank you so much. I will be really careful with it, I promise." she wiped her face with her sleeve.

"We know you will, baby." Olivia reassured and slid her hand into the bag again and pulled out another, much larger, item. "This is a tablet. I have been talking to your teacher and, even though many students still use books and actual pen and paper, there are also a large amount that use tablets like this one and your teacher told me that you'd really like one." she handed it over to the stunned girl, watching as the tears came afresh once again. "It's also set up and ready to go."

Audrey accepted the tablet and ran her fingers gently over the black leather case, that it was enclosed in, and swallowed at the lump in her throat, willing the tears away. "I... I don't know what to say. A simple thank you is just not enough." she sniffled. "I... I don't know how I will ever repay you but I'll break my back trying." she cradled the new gifts to her chest like they were the most precious things in the world.

"You don't have to repay us, honey. All we ask is that you do your best in school and here at home with us. We want you to think of this as your home too, not just another place where you sleep at. We like having you here, honey, and if you have any prolems or concerns about anything, we want you to know that you can come to us and talk about it. We are here for you, no matter what, and we will always have time for you, even if we're knee deep in cases at work we will still find the time for you. Always."

Liv nodded. "Amanda is right. You can always come to us sweetie."

"Thank you so so much. I... I don't know what I ever did to deserve your kindness and generosity. Not many people would do this for a foster kid. I'm forever grateful." she smiled through her tears, placed the gifts on the coffee table and flung her arms around Olivia's waist, giving her the tightest of hugs before switching over to Amanda and offered her the same thing.

"Audrey!? Are you up yet? You're gonna be late for your first day back." Liv shouted as she stirred the wooden spoon through the scrambled eggs while Amanda was getting ready. "Breakfast is almost done."

The tired teenager dragged her feet along the floor and into the kitchen, school bag in hand, showered and dressed. "Why do mornings always have to be so early?" she mumbled and took a seat by the table just as Liv haded her a plate.

"Well, that's why they're called mornings, because they come early in the morning." the brunette stated cheerfully and sat down next to the girl. "I can tell you're not a morning person. You and Amanda have that in common. She hates mornings too."

"Yup!" the blonde muttered as she entered the kitchen and flopped down on a chair with a sigh. "Any coffee?" she asked, her eyes still trying to adjust to the fact that she was no longer asleep and had to get use to the bright light.

Liv handed her a cup straight away, smiled at the precious sight of her girlfriend looking so adorably cute and grumpy and kissed her lightly on the lips. "The sooner you get your caffeine into your system, the safer we'll all be." Amanda smacked her playfully on her ass as she greedily gulped down a few sips of her favourite brew.

Ten minutes later Audrey was heading out the door and on her way to school. "We'll see you later, honey. Have a great day and call if you need us." the girl smiled and waved as she exited the apartment and made her way to meet her friend down the block.

Amanda leaned back against Liv as they stood in the doorway, feeling the older woman's arms encircle her waist from behind. "We still have about twenty minutes before we have to leave." the brunette whispered and nibbled playfully on the blonde's sensitive neck, letting her tongue trace the outline of her ear. "That's roughly ten minutes each."

Amanda turned, pushed Liv back into the hallway and kicked the door closed. "Ten minutes is all I need."

The End.


End file.
